1. Addressing the changing equation between spouses after childbirth
Parenthood has its charm but at the same time, it also comes with its own set of challenges. This transition from husband and wife to parents can be at times stressful for even the most well-functioning couples. Besides the distinctive role change, there are other things like lack of sleep and intimacy, which might affect the overall relationship of a married couple. So, does parenthood mean a marriage has to go through rough weather? Not necessarily if the couples know how to take adequate measures to overcome the hurdles. Let’s look at a few ways that would help a couple to fix the marital issues they face after childbirth.
2. Acknowldege and accept the problems
Acceptance is the first step towards finding a solution to any problem, including issues in your marriage post childbirth. It’s time to embrace the changes, both psychological and physical. For a man, the struggle to balance childcare and career might impact his relationship with the wife. Whereas for a woman, her body image issues or lack of time might stop her from getting close to her husband. But problems arise when they are in denial and do not take adequate steps to address these. Sooner they acknowledge the problems, better it is for them.
3. Identify feelings
When there is a baby in the house, it might not be possible to get physically intimate whenever and wherever. So, learn to identify the feelings of your spouse because when a child is around, he or she might not be as expressive as before. Adjust to the changes and communicate with each other the needs and feelings and address them accordingly.
4. Ask for help to look after the baby
This is very crucial for new parents—knowing their limitations and addressing those. There is nothing shameful in taking help from a third person, be it from parents or a nanny. This will help the couple to take out some time for each other.
5. Don’t neglect yourself
With regular nighters and feedings, looking after a baby can be very time consuming and tiring. Which brings us to this important point—lack of time for self-care. You might have many reasons to skip those pedicure appointments or the football match with your friends, but when you take care of yourself, it only makes you feel better and happy. And unless you are not happy, you cannot be in a happy relationship, right?
6. Don’t let your couple time turn into family time
We agree that when there is a child around, he or she becomes the centre of everyone’s attention. Thereby it should not come as surprise if your couple time is turned into family time. This is the reason why a routine or schedule should be introduced in your life as soon as possible after childbirth. Although it might seem impossible at first but once you start it, things will fall into place. And in that same routine, there should be some time allowed for the busy parents to spend in each other’s company.
7. Talking with experienced people helps
A lot of times we might not realise it but talking to a friend or a family member, who might have faced the same issues, can be of great help. Listening to how others dealt with a similar situation not only helps look at it with a fresh perspective but maybe, it might push you towards finding a solution.
8. Address your issues; if needed take professional help
Of course, there is no denying that you are in love with your spouse but there never seems to be a mood to make love. It might be for many reasons—from tiredness to body image issues, which most women experience, seem to make sex almost a dreaded task. Even after making conscious efforts to bring the passion back in your life, if you still feel the distance growing wider, it’s better to seek help from professional counsellors or therapists.