Dear Coleen

I’m an 18-year-old girl and live with my mum and stepdad. I’m in a really difficult situation because I know she’s cheating with another guy – a fellow teacher at the school she works at.

He comes over really late sometimes when she thinks I’m asleep, and he’s even stayed the night on a couple of occasions and left very early the next morning. My stepdad is away with work a lot, so she has the opportunity.

I feel awful knowing this and feel terrible for my stepdad, but so far I’ve said nothing about it to my mum. What should I do?

I think the first thing you have to do is talk to her about it, ask her what’s going on and explain you don’t want to be under pressure to keep this a secret from your stepdad.

It’s not a conversation you ever want to have with your mum, but she needs to step up and take responsibility – it’s unfair of her to put you in this situation by conducting her affair at home. This is also very risky behaviour – it’s almost as if she doesn’t care if she’s found out or maybe unconsciously she wants everything to blow up.

Trust me, it’s better to face up to this now than be in a situation where your stepdad walks in on them together.