Dear Coleen
I’m worried that my husband and I aren’t sexually compatible, and I’m becoming more and more frustrated.
We’ve been together for six years. I’m much more adventurous in bed than he is and willing to try new things, but he never wants to participate.
If ever I attempt something new, he just pulls away and goes back to the same old routine.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sex with him, but wish he’d get into it more. He says I’m more sexually confident than he is, and he just “likes what he likes”.
Any ideas on how we can get on the same page?
Coleen says
If you’re constantly springing things on him, it might be putting pressure on him and affecting his confidence. If he doesn’t feel confident, that’s going to stop him trying things, so it’s a vicious circle.
So I think it’s important to take the pressure off the act of sex itself and talk about it outside of the bedroom.
Sex is important, but you have to be able to communicate what you each like.
Have you ever asked him why he’s not sexually confident? Maybe he doesn’t have your experience or feels he doesn’t satisfy you.
There’s a brilliant book called She Comes First, which you can find on Amazon. My son read it and his girlfriend says it’s changed her life!
It’s not that sex was bad before, but it goes into some detail on the female orgasm.
Since I mentioned it on Loose Women, I’ve had tons of women contact me, asking me to post the details.
Desire starts in the brain, so the most important thing is good communication and feeling connected to each other.
