Does your boyfriend ignore you and take you for granted? Do you feel more like a trophy girlfriend than an actual one? After the honeymoon period wears off, your boyfriend starts taking you for granted. All efforts become one-sided and soon you begin to feel that you are in a one-sided relationship. Your boyfriend doesn’t value you and mocks you for no reason. You feel like the housewife whose husband bickers at her, mocking her about sitting at home doing nothing. You stay silent, hoping that it will get better one day and your boyfriend will appreciate you for what you are, but it only gets worse.
I say this through personal experience, my boyfriend would depend on me for everything and it felt like he was extracting everything out of me but I was not getting anything in return.
All the efforts were one-sided and in doing so, I was losing myself as well. You need to make him realise your worth before it’s too late.
“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.” – Will Smith.
In a relationship, efforts need to be two-sided. It takes two people to make things work. If you’re the one putting in all the efforts while your boyfriend is just taking advantage of your silence, it is time to make him realise your worth. It is not largely possible to keep a relationship going only when one is making the efforts. So, how to make him value you more? How to make your boyfriend realise your importance? How to make him work for you again? Here are 13 ways that will tell you how to make him realise your worth.
1. Keep yourself busy
You don’t need to be available for your boyfriend every time. Take time out for yourself and do the things that you were procrastinating for so long. Make him realise your absence. When he sees that you aren’t there when he needs you, he will come to you to see what is wrong. You need to make him miss you in order to make him understand that you are not always available. Boyfriends don’t understand things on their own. They realise things only when their girlfriends give them a push.
2. To make him realise your worth, stop texting and calling him
Do you call and text your boyfriend first? Does he never text you first, though you’d say he replies? Do you keep asking him if he’s okay and say I love you first, most of the time? If the answer is yes, you need to stop immediately. Always texting and calling your boyfriend first makes them feel that you are always available for him. Moreover, he won’t feel like texting you first because he’ll get used to the idea of his girlfriend always calling and texting him. If you want him to realise your worth, make him call and text you instead.
3. Forget to do some of his chores
Girlfriends take care of their boyfriends in so many ways without their boyfriends even realizing it. Boyfriends take their girlfriend for granted because they don’t even realise how much they do for them. It is time to make him realise how big a role you play in his life. Forget to do some of his chores like his laundry, giving him reminders, getting stuff for him, etc. Make it sound like an honest mistake and say, “I’m sorry, it really slipped my mind. I thought you were going to do it yourself.” This will make him realise how much he is dependent on you for his day-to-day activities.
4. Express your feelings through your actions
You are obviously frustrated because of your boyfriend taking you for granted. Why feel bad about it silently when you can take out your frustration? Show your frustration in your actions. If he’s asking you to do something, show your disagreement and unhappiness about it. Make angry sounds while doing work like banging something hard while putting it down. This will grab your boyfriend’s attention and he will ask you what is wrong.
5. Stop being a pushover
A pushover is someone who can easily be controlled and backs down easily. Your boyfriend doesn’t realise your worth because he thinks that you’re a pushover and will do anything he says. You need to take a stand for yourself and show resistance to things you don’t like. Voice your opinion rather than doing whatever he tells you to do.
6. Go out with your friends
You need to have a life outside your relationship, not just to show your boyfriend but for yourself as well. Connect with your girl gang and have fun with them every once in a while. Go out with your friends and reconnect with them. Seeing you have a life outside your relationship will make your boyfriend realise that you’re not dependent on him and he will feel a bit afraid of losing you. He will also feel a bit jealous that you’re not spending time with him and will start paying more attention to you.
7. Pamper yourself
After getting into a relationship, women tend to take lesser care of themselves because they are more focused on their relationship than themselves. You need to realise your self-worth and pamper yourself. Go to salons for a full body spa or a mani-pedi. Give yourself the care that you deserve. Moreover, when your boyfriend starts seeing you are taking care of yourself like you used to, he won’t be able to keep his hands off you.
8. Start saying ‘no’
Women who say yes to everything are more likely to be taken for granted by their boyfriends. This is because boyfriends know that their girlfriend will say yes to everything and they don’t value their girlfriend’s opinion. Saying ‘no’ from time to time won’t do any harm. The next time he asks you to do his laundry say, “I’m really caught up with something. Could you please do it this time and do mine too?” It will show your boyfriend that you know how to take a stand and he’ll realise your worth and respect you more.
9. Take decisions for yourself
Are you one of those girlfriends whose boyfriend orders her meals at restaurants without even asking her? What if you wanted to have a pizza and your boyfriend ordered you salad instead? These things might seem small but it begins with small things and before you know it, your boyfriend is making all the decisions for you. Take decisions for yourself and don’t let your boyfriend control you. Next time you go to a restaurant, say that you want to have a pizza when your boyfriend orders the salad for you. He needs to know your worth.
10. Stop doing things together
Couples have a list of things that they do together. This, though cute, is also harmful because it becomes routine and you no longer treat it as something special. When such activities become routine, you don’t give them the importance you used to. If your boyfriend and you have a movie to watch together make an excuse and do something without him instead. This will make him miss your presence and he will put in more effort to do things with you.
11. Ignore him for sometime
Boyfriends don’t realise your worth because you’re always there for them. You need to ignore him for some time and see how he reacts. Even if it kills you to ignore him, you need to know that this is something that will help in the future. Let him come to you first. Once he sees that you aren’t there, it will make him feel left out. He will do things to seek your attention and will give you more importance.
12. To make him realise your worth, first know your worth
“Remember, you are beautiful.”
Many times, girlfriends wish to stay silent rather than letting their boyfriend know that they are taking them for granted because they feel that it is what they deserve. They undermine themselves because of which their boyfriends undermine them too. You need to know your worth and your importance in your boyfriend’s life. Reflect on all the things you do for him and the things you get back in return. Any guy would be more than lucky to have someone like you and you need to know that.
13. Talk to him
Boyfriends need a push at times. They need to be told things that they don’t realise. Having an open line of communication is always a sign of a healthy relationship. Tell your boyfriend that you feel left out and taken for granted. Tell him about the different instances where you felt this way. Tell them, “You make me feel left out. You don’t appreciate my efforts. I want you to acknowledge me once a while.” He will keep these things in mind and pay more attention to you in future.
In a relationship, one partner puts in more effort than the other, but it is always a two-sided effort. If you feel that the relationship is one-sided, you need to do something about it to make it a two-sided one. Not doing anything about it will build a wall between your boyfriend and you and it will eventually turn things sour between the two of you. Making him realise your worth will help you both work together in the relationship and make your foundation stronger.