We’re always “vibing,” but never arriving.
Somewhere between “hey you up?” and “we’re just taking things slow,” a generation is losing the art of emotional clarity, one undefined relationship at a time.
They call it the talking stage.
Not quite dating. Not exactly friends. Just… texting, linking up, late-night calls, sharing memes, dropping hearts, but never hearts-on-sleeves. It’s love in limbo; romantic enough to feel real, vague enough to deny accountability.
And while it may seem harmless, this modern dance of “maybe” is quietly draining our capacity for honesty, emotional literacy, and healthy attachment.
The rise of romantic ambiguity
Let’s call it what it is: commitment phobia in cool packaging.
For many, especially Gen Z and urban millennials navigating love in a digital world, the talking stage offers a low-risk illusion of connection. No pressure. No labels. No expectations.
But in reality, what we’ve created is a culture of emotional loopholes, where people invest time, affection, even intimacy, with no clarity about where it’s all going.
We don’t ask “what are we?”
We ask “are we cool?”
We say “I’m not ready for a relationship”
…right before acting like we’re in one.
What it’s doing to us
Here’s the quiet cost:
Emotional Confusion: We feel deeply, but aren’t allowed to name those feelings. That tension creates anxiety, second-guessing, and self-silencing.
Delayed Healing: Without clear beginnings or endings, it’s hard to grieve or grow. We walk away from “almosts” feeling foolish for caring — like heartbreak needs a title to be valid.
Reduced Empathy: Ambiguity breeds detachment. If we’re not “official,” then it’s easy to ignore how our actions hurt the other person. We become experts at ghosting, but amateurs at closure.
Ego over Emotion: We keep things vague not because we don’t feel — but because we’re scared of looking vulnerable. So we pretend not to care, even when it’s tearing us up.
But what if we relearned emotional courage?
The truth is, not everyone we connect with is meant to become a partner — and that’s okay. What’s not okay is playing emotional games just because we’re afraid of awkward conversations or difficult truths.
It’s time we outgrew “vibes” and chose intention.
Time we said:
“I like you, but I’m not ready, and I want to be honest about that.”
“I’m catching feelings; what does this mean for you?”
“Let’s define what this is, so we both know how to move.”
No more assumptions. No more “go with the flow” when the flow is headed nowhere.
Here’s the real flex: clarity.
Being emotionally intelligent means being willing to ask the hard questions, set the hard boundaries, and speak the hard truths, with compassion.
It means moving away from soft gaslighting (“You knew what this was”) and towards mutual responsibility (“Let’s talk about what this is becoming”).
Because love without labels might look modern, but it often feels medieval: full of uncertainty, ruled by fear, and devoid of emotional justice.
We deserve better.
Love deserves better.
And the next time someone says, “We’re just talking,”
…maybe the boldest response is,
“Then say something real.”