It was a beautiful evening and Prakriti Yadav has been making plans for it for months. Three years back, on this very same day, she had met Anjan Saxena and fallen in love with him at first sight. They are both 26 years old and work in the same organisation. It was a perfect relationship, except for one thing. Brushing aside all thoughts, Prakriti took out her favourite little black dress and a matching pair of stilettos. She stole a glance at her reflection before leaving the room. What she saw in the mirror made her happy but at the same time a couple of worry lines, a recent acquisition, appeared on her forehead. She was in a rush and she needed to reach the restaurant before Anjan did. As soon as she entered the dimly-lit place, she spotted Anjan standing next to the bar. He saw her too but his expression was not what she had expected. Or perhaps, she half-expected it.
“Why did you wear that dress?” he asked as soon as she reached near him.
“I thought you liked this,” came the meek reply. Before the conversation could proceed any further, Anjan informed the manager to cancel the reservation saying there is an emergency in his workplace and they needed to leave immediately.
It’s been three years that Prakriti has been facing such situations. Everything is decided by Anjan—which place to dine out, where should be their next vacation, how much they should spend on grocery etc. She felt like she had lost her voice. But she never realised that she was being dominated by Anjan.
Like Prakriti, many might be living with a dominant partner and they might not even know it. Among the many things that make a relationship last for a lifetime, love, respect and equality top the list. Sadly, while love and respect might be present abundantly in a relationship, equality between the partners might go missing sometimes, making one partner feel less significant than the other. At times, one partner might be seen taking charge of all situations, while the other will follow his suit quietly. A relationship requires continuous investment from both partners and when the balance goes for a toss, it can only spell doom for the people involved. In case, you feel that you have no say in a relationship and it’s all about the other person, here are some signs to look out for.
Lack of personal space
This is one of the most common signs of a dominating partner—they would invade the other person’s personal space without any forewarning. A dominating boyfriend would not mind checking his girlfriend’s phone or read her messages without seeking her permission. Some might believe that when two people are in a relationship, they need no personal space. But that’s wrong. Every individual, whether he or she is in a relationship or not, needs personal space and no one can deny them the same.
They seek attention constantly
Dominating boyfriends can also be very demanding and they seek attention constantly. His needs come before hers. Mostly, the relationship is all about him and it’s always his way or the highway.
He makes all the decisions
Whether it’s about deciding the menu for the day or choosing the colour of the walls, all decisions are made by him. From the most important decisions to the insignificant ones, he puts his foot down and leaves no room for the other person to voice her opinion.
According to experts, sometimes one might be okay being with a dominant partner but if she thinks it’s making her feel like a lesser mortal, she should talk about it. “A lot depends on the dynamics between the two partners. Sometimes, a person might find the dominating behaviour of a partner acceptable because they might be compatible with each other. However, if such behaviour of a partner turns out to be physically or emotionally harmful and draining for the other person, he or she should immediately address the issue and discuss it with the partner,” said Shweta Singh, a Senior Consultant Psychologist.
According to experts, some people have a dominating personality type and others might have developed it due to some reasons. Whatever might be the case, if the dominating behaviour of a partner is making the other suffer, she should take measures to address the situation.
By – TIMESOFINDIA.COM