couple fight

1. Questions that prompt emotional intimacy between partners

There are lots of things to talk about when you are in the initial stage of a relationship. There will be no boring moments, the conservations would never have an uncomfortable pause and you would be surrounded by this all-enveloping feeling of satisfaction. But with time that initial excitement would pass and there might come a phase when striking a conversation would seem like a task. It is during such moments, which can be called the ‘silent or unemotional phase’, you can ask your partner these questions, which would start the ball of conversation rolling and strengthen the bond.

2. Besides your parents, who did you love the most in your childhood?

For most people, childhood is associated with their most cherished memories. And when you can get someone to talk about his or her childhood, the conversation can turn out to be an interesting one. Also, when your partner talks about the person he loved as a child, you would get an idea about what he admires most about a person.

3. As a child, what did you want to become when you grew up?

This seemingly simple question can open a window to your partner’s hopes and aspiration. As a child, we all had a colourful imagination and wanted to do things differently. Some of us might be living that dream and others might have chosen a different path. So, when your partner talks about the dreams and aspirations of his childhood, it will only bring you closer to your him.

4. When did you first fall in love?

Not everyone is comfortable talking about his first love, especially if it ended on a wrong note. But the charm of first love is such that no one can forget it. And when the conversation is about first love, a person might hesitate at first to talk about it but once the ball starts rolling, he would pour his heart out.

5. What makes you cry?

Most people know what makes their partner happy. But not everyone is comfortable talking about what makes them sad. When you ask your partner what makes him or her cry, be prepared to not receive a reply instantly. But it can be a great way to start a conversation and if you find him hesitating, you can start talking about yourself. Or, tell him when was the last time you cried and why. You would be surprised to know how a conversation on this topic can bring both emotionally closer.

6.  makes you feel connected or disconnected to me?

At times it’s important to maintain a level of directness and hence it’s important to ask your partner what makes him feel connected or disconnected to you. Do not react in anger or frustration if he points out any bitter truth. But take it as an opportunity to work on issues that can make the relationship stronger.

7. Where do you see us in 10 years?

While the past is about fond memories, any questions related to the future gives a glimpse about dreams and aspirations. And no relationship can be complete without these two elements. Also, when your partner answers this question, you too can talk about your expectations and where you see your relationship heading. You may not have a common past but talking about a shared future can definitely bring two people emotionally closer.

TNN/timesofindia.indiatimes.com