The man isn't sure whether to tell his friend's partner (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)
The man isn't sure whether to tell his friend's partner (stock photo) (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Yesterday, in a movie, the word affair was thrown about between a husband, wife and mistress, so I asked myself “what does that word really mean at all?” I got digging and…

…an affair is “a sexual relationship, romantic friendship, or passionate attachment between two people without the attached person’s significant other knowing” (Wikipedia).

There were other definitions but the Wikipedia definition really got me. Forget sexual relationship (hook ups) and romantic friendship (friends with benefits); that is the common definition for the average Joe; PASSIONATE ATTACHMENT? Wow, do you realise how many people are having affairs without knowing?

Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, boy meets boy, girl meets girl and a relationship is ignited. Some call it friendship; others call it acquaintance, for others it’s admiration from afar. Then as time passes by, there is attachment based on the intrigue and or other superficial features of one party or both.

No fault if you don’t have a significant other but if you do, be it married significant other, boy/girlfriend significant other or best friend significant other, just be considerate and “respectful” and stop having an AFFAIR behind their backs, unless they know.

It is an affair if…

  1. You CANNOT answer their calls when your significant other is around.
  2. You MUST speak or chat them consistently just as you do your significant other or even less
  3. You smile sheepishly at the thought of them
  4. You answer their calls in the presence of your significant other and act as though s/he (significant other) is not there
  5. Their well-being is more of your concerned than that of your significant other
  6. If your family knows his/her or name by heart than that of your significant other
  7. You spend on them more than you do on your significant other with every resource available to you.

Truthfully I am guilty in some respect and I have repented before bringing this piece to an end because I do have a significant other and I really did not consider some things an affair until I found out what it meant.

Note that if you do not have a significant other and yet you are passionately attached to a particular person, that person can be considered a significant other, so just be sure you are not having an affair.

Passionate attachment has nothing to do with sex but consistently it could lead to it and then there is trouble.

Be sure you are not having an affair!

The author, Isaac Kpodo, is a writer, poet and counselor. He likes to provoke the conscience of his readers with his write ups. You can contact him via email at