There are people in the world who are incapable of love. Sadly, it happens more often than anyone would like to admit.
People who are incapable of love don’t love themselves. Without that, they can’t possibly love another person or even know how to experience love if they haven’t learned to love who they are first. Therefore, maintaining a loving relationship is nearly impossible for them.
Can a person be incapable of love?
The answer is yes, they can. The reasons some people are incapable of love could stem from their negative childhood experiences, past relationship traumas, or even their personality traits.
However, people can work on themselves and get out of that situation given enough determination and want of it.
Here are some tell-tale signs someone is incapable of love.
1. They blame others.
People who are not capable of love have a tendency to blame problems on other people. They lack insight into how they may be contributing to the problem.
They are narrow-minded and only focused on how a situation or relationship benefits them or holds them back. They rarely put fault in themselves for things not working out as they planned.
2. They have no accountability or responsibility for their mistakes or wrongdoing.
People who lack the ability to fully love someone have a limited ability to see their fault in situations or relationships. Instead of working on things in the relationship as a two-way street, it’s often one-sided.
If someone can’t even love themselves, how are they supposed to see fault in their limited and narrow mind? They can’t. And they won’t even try.
3. They make excuses.
For both current or future relationships.
Again, having to own up to something would take some sort of self-awareness and knowledge about yourself. Instead, people who can’t love will make excuses for their behavior: “Oh I was drunk, don’t take it personally,” “I don’t usually act like that,” and, my personal favorite, “You just made me so mad.”
You became so mad you didn’t recognize yourself? Please justify your behavior some more.
Justification and making excuses are common in those who lack a sense of self and have no capability of loving another person.
4. They give up easily.
They simply give up if something or someone doesn’t benefit them anymore. They don’t think about the other person. To be quite frank, they don’t really care.
When something no longer serves a purpose that favors the loveless person, their interest in a person and the relationship diminishes.
5. They show less interest in growing as a person.
As a result of the above statements, this person will not show much interest. As time goes on, you’ll notice their attention span shortening almost as if they are saying they don’t care without speaking the words out loud.
6. There is a lack of communication.
As a result of someone being unable to love and their general close-minded nature, they communicate infrequently.
They will allow upset or hurt feelings to stir up inside of them until they can’t handle it anymore and they explode. This frustration is within them so they really shouldn’t be blaming someone else.
7. They emotionally withdraw.
They will emotionally withdraw from the relationship while you may or may not be aware of what is happening in their mind due to their emotional difficulties. You may be working on the relationship while they move further and further away from you.
8. They are unhappy.
People unable to love are also unhappy. They may explain this is a new thing or that it’s been progressive.
But here’s the truth: The unhappiness started with the person and not having a clear foundation of who they are. They become unhappy because they don’t know who they are.
9. They are self-absorbed.
Me, me, me. It’s always about them. It’s always what they want first. No compromise. They don’t care to find out who they are but they will take, take, take. It is always about them.
10. They are close-minded.
These folks are often very rigid and stuck in their ways. If you can’t open yourself up for love, then you’re nowhere near ready for a relationship.
If they don’t love themselves or have a certain level of respect for themselves, they are not going to have a successful relationship and you should run… like, yesterday.
11. They care too much about other people’s opinions.
They rely too heavily on making people like them that they won’t have any time to care for your needs or wants. Rather you may end up being the “support system” for them.
You will be the one they look to you to boost their ego when someone doesn’t like them.
12. They could have emotional deprivation disorder.
Emotional Deprivation Disorder is “a syndrome (a grouping of symptoms) which results from a lack of authentic affirmation and emotional strengthening by another.”
That is, people with EDD were deprived of feeling his or her own uniqueness or goodness while growing up causing them to stunt their emotional development. They can’t possibly maintain a healthy relationship because they don’t have the necessary “education” or “knowledge” to do so.
It’s like if you tried performing brain surgery without going to school for it. You don’t know what to do, where to start, or how to react, right? That is what it is like for these people with this disorder.
They were never allowed to understand their feelings, so they have no idea what to do about it, and they are incapable of feeling love because they’ve never experienced it (or don’t realize that they have). Therefore they have an inability to form mature relationships.
What does lack of love do to a person?
A person who is lacks love could end up having a horrible life. Not having love in your life by giving it or receiving it can lead to a deeply unhappy person.
These people can end up feeling more lonely since falling in love isn’t really an option for them. Not only that, but they are more likely to experience depression and stress; and, in general, can be in worse health than those who live with love in their lives.
People who live without love in their lives end up with intimacy issues making for failed relationships. Most of the time they fear love because they have never known it.
In the end, a lack of love is a sad life.