Tight or loose vag*na: Does it really matter in s*x?

Even though admittedly not all sex involves a vagina, for women and their partners the tightness of the vagina plays a significant role. Before childbirth, the vagina is rarely ever too wide.

The problem usually occurs after vaginal childbirth, where the couple experiences less friction.

A wider vagina after childbirth used to be a hidden secret, however in this day and age it is becoming more of a problem. Instead of having years of frustrating sex, it may be better to have a consultation about vaginal tightening.

Vaginal tightness and looseness might seem to be sensitive topics to discuss. But ladies, you need to know about what is normal and what is not with your vagina. Some women may experience the feeling that their vaginas are completely closed, while others complain that theirs are uncontrollably loose.

This article will provide you with useful information so you can know whether your lady parts’ tightness/looseness is normal enough and if not, what some of the possible reasons might be.

Vaginal Tightness

The tightness of the vagina is different depending on each person. What is considered “tight” to one person may be normal to another. When you are checking your vagina, you should only use your own sensations as a benchmark.

If your vagina is too tight, there are a few things you might experience:

  • You may feel extreme pain during sexual activity. This is often the first sign. It can go away after stopping sexual activities, but it may remain painful for days. 
  • An increasing stinging or burning sensation in your vagina when penetrated 
  • Intense pain when inserting tampons. 
  • In the long-term, this problem can lead to loss of sexual desire because of your fear of discomfort.

Normally, it is OK to feel a bit of discomfort when you first have intercourse. That is because it is natural for your body to close up when something enters it. However, the initial discomfort will stop when your body gets used to the penetration. If your vagina is too tight, it can lead to an unsatisfying sex life for you and your partner. You may feel really sore or itchy for hours after sex, and sex will become a burden for you and your partner.

Vaginal Looseness

After relaxing during sex, vaginal muscle tissue naturally contracts—tightens—again. Intercourse does not permanently stretch the vagina. This process, loosening during arousal and tightening afterwards, happens no matter how often the woman has sex.

The vagina stretches a great deal during childbirth like an accordion opened all the way. Post-partum does it re-tighten completely? Yes, usually, at least in young women, that is, women in their late teens and early twenties. Within six months after delivery, the typical young woman’s vagina feels pretty much how it was before she gave birth.

Now for the two exceptions. If you stretch elastic a great deal, over time, it fatigues and no longer snaps back entirely. That can happen to the vaginas of young women after multiple births. Their vaginal muscles fatigue and no longer fully contract. In addition, ageing fatigues vaginal muscle. Whether or not women have given birth, as they grow older, they may complain of looseness.

  • Here’s a quick fix for vaginal looseness

Have intercourse in the man-on-top position. Once he inserts, he lifts himself up and the woman closes her legs. Her thighs squeeze his penis and make her feel tighter.

The tightening approach most often recommended by sex therapists is Kegel exercises. Kegels, named for the doctor who popularized them, involve contracting the muscles used to interrupt urine flow or squeeze out the last few drops.

Kegels do, indeed, tighten the vagina, but they have nothing to do with the vaginal muscles. They strengthen the pelvic floor muscles that surround the vagina, the hands that hold the stuffed sock. Age and childbearing fatigue these muscles. The hands don’t grip the sock as tightly and the towel feels loose. Kegels tighten the pelvic floor muscles. The hands squeeze the sock, which clamps down on the towel, and the vagina feels tighter.

What is normal sex?

A couple’s sex life is affected by so many different factors: age, lifestyle, each partner’s health and sex drive, and most importantly the quality of their relationship.

Problems are generated when the couple has what is called mismatched libidos. Sex is not a matter of quantity but quality. More important than the frequency of sex is how satisfied couples are with their sex lives.

Lovemaking is a sensitive area to discuss as there is a fear of hurting each other’s feelings. But having sex is important: it’s like glue that keeps a couple together. If your relationship is in trouble, getting help when you are struggling is extremely important.