Couple

Dear Coleen

I’m a married woman in my 30s with one child. My husband takes me for granted and I don’t even fancy him anymore.

We probably haven’t had sex in 18 months and I’m not ­bothered. I haven’t been happy with him for some time and I’ve now fallen in love with one of my friend’s husbands.

I’ve never told him how I feel, but there’s definitely chemistry between us. He flirts with me a bit, but it’s subtle and I don’t think anyone else would notice.

I was at a school concert the other night and he was sitting in front of me and I felt turned on just staring at the back of his neck!

The thing is, I know his wife has been sleeping with someone else – in fact, loads of people know about it, but he doesn’t. I think he deserves to know what’s going on, but I’m worried it’ll backfire on me.

I don’t want to be the messenger who gets shot as I keep hoping we’ll somehow get together.

What would you do in this ­situation? I like this guy so much, but I know it’s complicated. Please help.

Coleen says

I think you should mind your own business and sort your own marriage out before interfering in anyone else’s.

You say your friend’s hubby is flirting with you, although it’s subtle, but maybe you’re seeing what you want to see.

The fact is, the only reason you’d be telling him is in the hope he’d dump his wife and run into your arms, and this is probably not going to happen.

If you spill the beans, he probably won’t thank you for it – he’ll be ­heartbroken and will have to focus on figuring his life out. It’s unlikely he’d start something with you, especially as you’re also married with a child.

I think you’re living in fantasy land – you even sound excited that his wife is having an affair, but this could be real heartbreak for her husband.

My advice is, don’t complicate your life with anyone else and don’t cause chaos because you could end up losing everything.

And if this friend was a good mate, you’d tell her that rumours were circulating about her having an affair and give her the chance to sort it out.