Homosexuality is still broadly seen as a social taboo

Brad and Cyndi Marler from Illinois have been married for three whole decades. They have two children, a son and a daughter, whom they love very much. At first glance, their family seems quite ordinary.

However, that’s not the case with the Marlers.

Just a few years after getting married, Bran and Cyndi confessed to one another that they are both gay. But they didn’t tell anyone else for many, many years.

Husband and wife come out as gay after 30 years of marriage
Credits: AP

As per Daily Mail, Brad commented: “We always said it was us against the world.”

The couple, both in their late 50s, have finally decided to “live authentically.”

The long-time sweethearts grew up in small Illinois communities, where coming out was not an option.

Cyndi said: “Being homosexual, you’re just going to go straight to Hell. There’s no two ways to it.”

Luckily, they have now started a new life in Chicago, where they feel more accepted. However, before revealing their secret, they made sure they maintain a traditional-looking marriage.

No, they never told anyone that Brad was the one in charge of the home decor in their house.

Husband and wife come out as gay after 30 years of marriage
Credits: AP

Ms. Marler explained: “We wanted the house, the dog, the two kids – and we did all of that. We made a decision to make it work. This was what we were going to do.”

Both Brad and Cyndi believe they would have never been able to come out if their parents were alive. 

For a long time, Brad was battling a severe internal conflict about who he truly is.

He shared: “For such a long time, I hated that part of me… I didn´t understand why what I had with Cyndi wasn´t enough.” 

Husband and wife come out as gay after 30 years of marriage
Credits: AP

He assumes this inner struggle was provoked after his mother confronted him about his sexuality when he was only 16. He recalled:

“She just said, ‘If you are, that´s not OK. You´re not going to do this to the family.’ We never spoke about it again.”

The couple gained confidence after their own daughter confessed she was a lesbian. 

The family lived together until this March when they moved to separate Chicago apartments to explore life as members of the LGBTQ+ community.

Brad shares that “everything is new,” while Cyndi notes she works on figuring out “What am I?” 

Husband and wife come out as gay after 30 years of marriage
Credits: AP

Despite living separately, the couple has no plans to get divorced.

Ms. Marler said: “We´re still best friends.”

Mr. Marler added: “Our whole dynamic is better now.”

What’s even more important, their children support them on this new journey. Their daughter even wrote them a letter saying how happy she is to see them happy.