waist beads
waist beads

I was in the office early Monday morning when the security came in to tell me that there was a lady standing outside looking for me.

I looked at the time, it was around 7:30 am. Work hasn’t started so how will someone come in to look for me? I asked the security, “Did she mention my name?” He said, “No she didn’t.”

“She said she was looking for the manager and I told her the manager wasn’t in yet and she said she will like to talk to anyone who is in.” I was curious so I told him to let her in.

When she sat down, I asked her, “I learned you’re looking for the manager?” She said, “Not really. I’m looking for someone to talk to about a job.”

I asked her, “Are you looking for a job?” She said, “Yeah, I’ve been searching for so long. I’ve sent a lot of CVs around and attended a lot of interviews but I’ve had no positive call so I decided to go this route for a job—walk to an office, asked for a vacancy, any vacancy at all and see if my luck will shine.”

I was surprised by her approach. I told her, “Here, they don’t employ people through this means.

“If there’s a vacancy, they’ll advertise it for people to apply. Currently, I don’t think there’s any vacancy around here but I like your spirit and I like your approach.

“You may get lucky somewhere but not this place. She said, “if you like my approach then help me get a job.”

I said, “You can leave your CV with me. I’ll give it to HR, from there, whatever happens, I will let you know.” She said, “These HR people I don’t believe them oo. The job will come and they’ll employ their families first and later advertised dead jobs for us to apply.”

The encounter turned into friendly conversation. I was looking at her. She was very beautiful and very frank about her situation.

She didn’t give me the CV. She said, “You let me go, tomorrow, I will come around and present a CV to you if only you can help me.” I asked for her number and she gave it to me. She also asked for my number. She said, “Just in case you don’t call then I call you.”

That same evening, she called me. She asked, “Did you talk to HR about me?” I said, “I thought you said you’ll bring your CV tomorrow?” She said, “To be honest with you, I don’t have money to travel there tomorrow.

“It will be very hard for me. I don’t earn money and the little that I get from friends, I use it to buy food and sometimes use some to travel around looking for a job.” The way she said it saddened my heart so I told her, “If it’s money you want, I can send you something you can use to pick a car tomorrow.”


I sent her GHc100. She called and she was shouting in appreciation. “Thank you so much. You’re way too kind and I appreciate this so much. It’s the best gift I’ve received today and coming from someone I met only today, I appreciate it a lot.”

I told her not to even come with the CV again. I said, “Just use the money for something else and email the CV to me. I will print it out and send it to HR myself.”

She became a friend in no time and spoke to me like someone she had known for a very long time. She will call me in the morning and evening asking me about my day. She’ll text me memes every now and then and we’ll laugh over it.

All of a sudden, she took over my thought and my day. If she didn’t call in the morning, I will call her and we’ll talk for several minutes. When I had the time to chat, I will send her messages and she’ll respond immediately.

One day we met over lunch. After that day, she took me to her place to see where she lives. Another time, I invited her to my place and she came.

Not too long afterward, she sent me a church invite. It was a three-day program so every evening after work, I will go to her place and we’ll attend the church program together.

It was the last day of the program that I proposed to her and it was that same day that she said yes to me and we became lovers.

She wasn’t working. I was doing my best to get her a place to work. She doesn’t have a strong educational background. After SHS, she did a one-year diploma course in secretariatship and that was what she was using to look for a job.

I told her it would be difficult but she should be hopeful. I was sending her money every week so she could afford food and other basic stuff.

As I said in my brief story the other time, I didn’t pursue sex right from the beginning. Her character and demeanor didn’t portray a woman you can just sleep with just because you’re in a relationship with her so I was taking my time until that day when we got tipsy and kissed.

When I shared my story, a lot of people were asking if I’ve experienced that issue before. Some suggested I should try it on another woman and see if it will work. The truth is, I’ve never in my life experienced anything of that nature.

I started dating her two months ago and before her, there was someone with whom I didn’t face that issue and it wasn’t long ago. I could think of her and I’ll jack up immediately.

When the first incident happened, I went home and played with myself and it didn’t take a minute for the joystick to be up and doing.

When it happened the second time too, the same. I spoke to her candidly about it when it happened the third time.

She was the one motivating me and telling me that everything will be alright. She said, “It happens sometimes so don’t be hard on yourself. I understand and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. We’ll keep trying until it works.” That day my respect for her went up because I was very embarrassed about myself.

When I was home and it was up and dangling around, I called to tell her. She was like, “Or your joystick is shy of me? Keep telling him about me and let him know that I don’t bite so he should be calm around me.” She was making jokes about the whole thing so it made the shame a little bit bearable.

After sharing the story, a lot of people also talked about beads and my mind went to it. She wears waist beads and ankle beads. I haven’t taken my time to look at them critically but after the post, I started thinking about them differently.

So I went there the next day and asked her to take the beads off. She was like, “What have beads got to do with anything? If anything at all, it should help you find your groove or you’re not beads guy.” I said, “No I’m not. It does nothing to me.”

She said, “As for me, it does everything for me. It makes me feel like a woman that’s why I have one on my ankle.

I’m an African for Christ’s sake.” I said, “Taking it off for that few minutes won’t take your womanhood away. If you love me that much, you’ll do it for me.” She said, “I will think about it.” “I asked, “Think about what? I’m here and you’re here.

You only have to take it off.” She said, “It’s too tight, I can’t just take it off.” I said, “let me help you.” She said, “I don’t need help.”

Then she walked out of the room. Maybe she sensed that I was going to force her. She never came back until I left the room.

I was home when she called to apologize. She said she will take it off the next time but I already know what I want to know so I didn’t bother.

Just yesterday, she called asking me to give her a loan of GHc2,000 to help take care of her sick mum.

I asked her to come home and she did. She stood outside and called me to come out. I said, “Just come inside?” She said, “I’m in a hurry. I have to travel back immediately to see my mum.”

I came out and she was still wearing the beads on her legs. Obviously, she was wearing the waist one too. I said, “You can leave if you won’t come inside.” She stood there for a while and left.” I need no evidence.

It’s the beads that are working against me but why would she do that? I’ve never been a bad person.

I give her everything she asks for so why would she do this to me? I’m even scared for my life and I doubt if I will ever pick her call again.