We’ve been married for two years and have no child. I’m not surprised that we haven’t been able to have a child but what I’m surprised about is my wife’s attitude towards the fact that we don’t have a child. Yesterday she called me impotent. Some days ago she called me sterile. I warned her: “The next time you call me any other name apart from my name, I will walk out of this mess you call marriage.”
Let me take you back to when we were dating. This girl was very strict when it came to sex. She was the one making the rules. “This month no sex, I don’t want you to be enjoying it every day. We are not married yet.” I won’t fight her about it and she would go ahead and do exactly what she said she would do. Another time she will tell me, “I called you and you didn’t answer. No sex for three weeks.”
I didn’t allow those things to bother me. She was a good person. I would have been very wrong to just look at her from that angle and conclude that she wasn’t a wife material. We stayed together for two years before we finally decided to marry.
After marriage, she didn’t stop throwing those rules around. Every new day came with different rules and all her rules had to do with sex. As I’m writing this, we haven’t had sex for the past three months. What is her reason? She had severe cramps during her menses and according to her, she has never had crumps all her life. She told me: “I spoke to a doctor friend of mine and she said my cramps was due to sex and that if your husband’s joystick is big, it can result in cramps.” I knew she was lying. I knew she was just looking for another excuse not to have sex. I’m used to that antics so it didn’t bother me.
We are married but we have sex only when she wants and since she doesn’t want sex often, we can go for several weeks without sex. And the annoying part is, she doesn’t want any other style apart from missionary. So, when her goodness comes and she finally opens the way for me to do it, she will tell me, “Just get on with it and leave me alone.” If I kiss her, bue! If I don’t kiss her, bue! “Don’t touch me here. Why are you going side by side, can’t you go straight? Hey…hey…hey, don’t touch my breast, it’s paining me. You’re keeping long, what medicine did you drink?”
She’ll nag throughout the action. Sometimes I don’t even cum. I’ll just get off her and have my peace of mind. It’s been like this for the past two years since we got married. I’m not complaining. Recently, she brought the topic of childbirth and I told her: “Do you know how many times people have sex before a child can result? You are here giving me rules and yet want to have a child?” She said: “Alice got married four months ago and she’s pregnant. How many times did they do it? We’ve been doing it for two years and nothing has happened. Go and look for medicine before I give up on you.”
Every marriage has some troubles. She’s my trouble, I understand. What I don’t understand is her attitude towards the problems she herself has caused. I was there one day when she told me, “I spoke to my doctor friend. She said we’ve been having sex unnecessarily that’s why the pregnancy is not coming so we should have sex only when I’m ovulating. From now onwards, you won’t waste your sperms on me. Store them. Grow them. Make them potent so that when you hit one, a child will come. You hear?”
Brothers and sisters, how many times do women ovulate in a month? At least once, right? So why haven’t we had sex for three months? I want an answer so I went to her, “You mean you haven’t ovulated for the past three months?” She said, “I’m tracking it with an app. So far, the app hasn’t said that I’m ovulating.” Eiii! So now it’s an app that’s going to determine when to have sex and when not to?
Dear people of God, that’s my wife for you. No husband will sit and stare while things go wrong in his marriage so I reported the issue to her parents. They called her home and talked to her extensively. Her father called to tell me, “We’ve spoken sense to her. The way I’ve bashed her, I don’t think she’ll come home and do that again.” The day she got home she said: “Shame on you. You ran to my parents and reported me to them? Are you a kid? All because of sex? I thought you are a man. A true man doesn’t need plenty of sex before pregnancy. They hit one, bam! and the child is there. You want it every day. I can’t.”
Three months. Maybe it sounds very short so let me calculate it into days. I haven’t had sex for over , 90 days! I’ve received three salaries without sex, yet she accuses me of not being potent because we haven’t had a child. I’ve reported it to her parents twice and each time, they talk to her. The last time her father told me: “If I have to come and supervise it, I will come there myself. What kind of silly attitude is that?” Even her father is angry on my behalf. At this point, I will be right to take any drastic decision that I want. One day, I will pack her things and send her to her parents. Before she comes back to the marriage, she will sign a bond of good behaviour and sign to have sex four times in a week before I will take her back.
A wife doesn’t live her life just to traumatise her husband’s life. Or I should send her packing right away?