Going through a break-up is not easy but when you have a friend with whom you can share your sorrow, the journey becomes a little tolerable. Because only a friend can understand or feel the pain that a bitter break-up brings in a person’s life. As a friend, it’s intuitive to do things to make the heartbroken lover feel better. But did you know, not everything you do or say, can have a desirable effect? “A lot of times, heartbreak can make people retreat into a shell. They become emotionally sensitive and anything said or done, even if it’s for their good, can trigger an adverse reaction. So, it’s very important to deal with such a situation carefully and with empathy,” said Shweta Singh, senior consultant psychologist. In case, you are with a friend who is going through a break-up here’s how you can be his pillar of support.
Be a good listener
During such situations, a person needs a friend who is a good listener, rather than a talker. In case, your friend has retreated into a shell and refuses to talk, encourage him or her to open up slowly. Because pent up emotions can do more harm than we can imagine. Opening-up in front of a friend, talking to him about the incident, sharing regrets or sorrow is a kind of therapy that would help the estranged lover to recuperate.
Do not criticize
The last thing a heartbroken lover wants while getting over a break-up is a friend who criticizes him. As a friend, you might be tempted to point out his mistakes, but there is a right time for that and it’s definitely not the perfect time to discuss what went wrong in a relationship just after the break-up. Instead of criticising, show your friend an optimistic future. Talk to him about things that make him happy, which will distract his attention from his messy love life.
Encourage your friend to do things he likes doing
The biggest support you can extend to your friend during this hour of need is by encouraging him to do things that he loves doing. This will help him focus on the present and keep his mind from obsessing over his past love life. And when a person engages in activities that bring him joy, he experiences a sense of fulfillment. Such an experience would help the person to think positive and thereby make his journey of self-healing a little tolerable.
Help your friend to seek professional help if required
A lot of times, we tend to ignore the fact that not everyone is fortunate enough to come out of a broken relationship unscathed. A break-up can have some undesirable effect on the mental health of a person. A lot of people also engage in self-harming behaviour, which might go unnoticed by friends and family. So, as a best friend, it’s your duty to keep a close eye on your friend’s behaviour after his break-up. In case, you notice any erratic behaviour, get him the necessary professional help. Because only an experienced counsellor can offer the required help—be it through counselling or therapy—under such circumstances.
By – TIMESOFINDIA.COM
