I got the good news in December last year and my excitement knew no bounds. As is with most Indian families, I was asked to wait for three months to break the news.
I am in my late 30s and getting pregnant at this stage in life in itself was so overwhelming, especially because me and my partner have been trying for the longest time. But before I could share my excitement with my friends, the lockdown happened and my excitement turned into varying degrees of negative emotions.
I live in constant fear of catching the coronavirus. I fret and panic everytime my husband goes out to buy essentials because I fear he will get the virus back home and I will get affected. I fear losing my baby to this virus and I don’t even have my friends around to comfort me.
I get worked up looking at weekly pregnancy updates that I had excitedly signed up for in bulk. They ask me to go out, celebrate my pregnancy and take care of my diet – while all I can think right now is to stay tucked in and cook whatever takes the least effort (even if it means Maggi on most days).
I had actually thought pregnancy would be the best time of my life when I will go all out and wear pregnancy dresses, flaunt my baby bump, go out with my friends and laugh my heart out but that now feels like a distant dream. All my family and friends groups are buzzing with Coronavirus updates, news and memes and for once I want to tell all of them to not scare me anymore – I am scared enough. All I need right now are some kind words and comfort that all will be okay and my healthy baby will be in my arms in August. That’s the only thought I need right now!
