The couple decided to go public after winning the EuroMillions jackpot ( Image: PA)
The couple decided to go public after winning the EuroMillions jackpot ( Image: PA)

Life is full of mysteries – and one of the biggest is why anyone would ever publicly announce they’d won the lottery. It’s a guaranteed way to completely ruin the most incredible thing that will ever happen to you.

Joe and Jess Thwaite plan to give money to their nearest and dearest, so presumably reasoned that once random members of their family started buying yachts and castles, word would get out. Still, personally I’d have kept schtum.

Of course I’d share my winnings with the people closest to me – but I’d make it a condition that they never told anyone where it came from. And if they do, they have to give it back. There, sorted.

Maybe, like the Thwaites, some lottery winners figure it’s going to come out so they might as well have the obligatory champagne spray photo taken. Perhaps some of them want to rub their newfound wealth in the noses of everyone who has ever wronged them. But still… no. For two reasons, really.

First, the begging letters – and letters is the best case scenario, because people might also turn up on your doorstep. How could you say no, when it’s public knowledge you’ve got multi millions in the bank? And if you say yes to one, surely you have to say yes to all, and then oh look, you don’t have multi millions in the bank any more.

And secondly, you’d never be able to trust anyone again. People will be nicer to you than ever before, and you won’t know if they like you for you, or your loadsamoney. You’ll have to second guess the intentions of everybody you interact with for the rest of your life.

So good luck to the Thwaites, but if I ever win the lottery, no-one will hear a word about it. I wouldn’t even tell my husband.