File photo: Wedding

Dear society, 7 things I would like to tell you before I get married

There are so many expectations surrounding marriage and I am not just talking about the expectations of the people tied by the holy bond of matrimony. The society, parents, family, friends, neighbours and you-name-anyone, everyone has something or the other to say about the marriage of someone else. Basically, your marriage becomes everyone’s business, right? And god forbid if you have crossed the sacrosanct age of getting married as defined by society (read 28 years and above), everything you do will come under scrutiny. Although this might not be the case with everyone, but those who have faced it will relate to what I am trying to say here. So, here’s something I would like to tell everyone who is so concerned about my marriage because I am a woman who turned 30 recently and yet to find a good catch.

02/8Yes, I would like to become financially independent before getting married

Gone are the days when a man was supposed to earn for the family and the woman was expected to take care of everything else. Today, being financially independent, irrespective of whether you are a girl or a boy, is imperative. So, bear with me if I choose to become financially dependent before I got married, even if it might take me beyond my sweet 20s to become financially secure.

03/8​I want to wait till I am convinced

I would wait till I am convinced that the person I am getting married to is the one rather than tie the knot in a hurry and repent later. Marriage for me is a life long commitment and I don’t just want to jump into it under pressure from anyone or everyone.

04/8​I want to focus on my career

I want to have a career. Just like my brothers, I too have studied hard and have had a brilliant academic life to boast of. Why should I not focus on building my career than just getting married and starting a family? You would say, a career can wait but not marriage. I would say everything else can wait but not your career!

05/8​I want to experience life before getting married

There are so many things I would like to do before getting married. Like traveling solo, living alone, learning from my experience etc. It’s said experience makes you a better person and when I get married, I want to be the best version of myself.

06/8​I want to fall in love

You would say love is overrated, but I would like to disagree. Yes, I will wait for love, if required get my heart broken by falling in love with the wrong person. But once it is over, I would learn some important lessons about life and relationships, which, I hope, would help me in my conjugal life.

07/8​Please do not try to find a match for me everywhere

In case you haven’t already noticed, I am tired of everyone who tries to find a suitable match for me at every party, marriage, get-togethers, prayer meets and whatnot. Yes, I am grateful for your help and concern, but honestly, it does nothing to make me feel better.

08/8I may not even get married but it’s my decision

A person’s life does not remain incomplete if he or she stays single. For all you know, I might not even get married. Yes, companionship is important but marriage is not just about companionship, right? Getting married or not at all, is a decision only I can make. I don’t want others to do that for me!