As the world celebrates Father’s Day this Sunday, it is also worth reflecting on the silent stories of men who, for reasons beyond their control, were denied the chance to become fathers.
These reflections are not drawn from abstract surveys but from real-life experiences shared by men in “brotherhood” circles and across various social media platforms — stories I have personally monitored and compiled over time.
From heartbreak to frustration, these men reveal a side of the fatherhood conversation that is rarely acknowledged. Here is a compelling look at ten kinds of women who, knowingly or unknowingly, contributed to this reality.
1. The “I’m Not in the Mood” Lady
This is one of the most common experiences men recount in relationships and marriages. These women are often emotionally unavailable or sexually withdrawn, consistently rejecting intimacy over prolonged periods. Despite being ready and willing to start a family, many men feel sidelined by partners who always seem “not in the mood.”
While some couples eventually overcame this through counselling, patience, or honest confrontation, others never got the opportunity to embrace fatherhood due to the emotional disconnect.
2. The “I’m Not Ready Now” Girl
Closely related to the above, these are women who conceive but claim they aren’t ready — emotionally, mentally, or financially. Regardless of the man’s willingness to father the child, the woman may choose to terminate the pregnancy. Many men describe feeling helpless and excluded from a decision that changed the course of their lives.
3. The Revered Church Girl
Often active in choir groups, ushering teams, or prayer departments, these women are deeply concerned about their public image. While they may engage in intimate relationships privately, some choose to terminate pregnancies to avoid “shame” or disappointing their church community.
4. The Professional High-Flier
Focused on career advancement, these women often see motherhood as a hindrance. Several men shared experiences of partners who kept postponing childbearing in pursuit of promotions, postgraduate studies, or international relocation, only to eventually opt out of motherhood entirely.
5. The Family Hope
Known as “the chosen one,” this woman carries the emotional, moral, and financial burden of her family. When she conceives unexpectedly — especially while unmarried — she often feels pressured to abort, fearing she may “disgrace” the family or compromise her responsibilities.
6. The Transactionalist
These women treat relationships and pregnancy as calculated investments. Before deciding to keep a child, they evaluate the man’s income, future prospects, and social status. If there’s no perceived “return on investment,” they often walk away — or terminate the pregnancy. According to some men, they ask bluntly, “What’s in it for me?”
7. The Peer-Pressured Socialite
Influenced by social trends and peer expectations, these women avoid motherhood to preserve their lifestyle. Focused on travel, fashion, nightlife, or social media appeal, they often delay settling down. When faced with pregnancy, many choose to terminate or avoid discussing it entirely, insisting there’s plenty of time ahead.
8. The Trauma-Scarred
Some women have endured past abuse, loss, or medical complications related to childbirth. These experiences leave lasting emotional scars, causing them to fear pregnancy or parenthood. Even in loving and supportive relationships, they may choose not to carry a pregnancy to term.
9. The “On My Terms” Feminist
These women are deeply rooted in autonomy and control. Even within committed relationships, they often insist on making reproductive decisions independently. Some men report being informed of a pregnancy only after it has been terminated. In brotherhood circles, such women are often referred to as “destiny delayers” — likened to the proverbial “Konongo Kaya.”
10. The “One That Got Away”
Finally, there are those who simply walked away — sometimes during pregnancy, or just before. Whether motivated by greener pastures, personal uncertainty, or external pressure, their sudden departure leaves men mourning not just the end of a relationship, but also the fatherhood that could have been.
In Conclusion
While many women have valid, complex, and deeply personal reasons behind their decisions, these stories reveal the often-overlooked emotional toll on men. As we honour fathers this weekend, let us also remember those who wanted to be fathers — but were never given the chance. For them, Father’s Day is a bittersweet reminder of what could have been.
About the Writer:
Freeman Kwade is a journalist, social educator, and Brand and Media Strategist. He is also an adjunct lecturer and a Senior Media Officer at the University of Professional Studies, Accra.