When is a man ready to settle down? The answer is not always as obvious as we might like. In a culture as visual as ours, we demand the most conspicuous of tells. If a guy is covered in maritime tats and wears Warby Parker specs, he’s probably open-minded and down with composting.

If you spot truck nuts dangling from his jacked-up Ford F-350 Super Duty, he may feel that “the old ways are the best ways.” Sadly, unless a dude picks you up in a minivan that’s not his mom’s, the clues about his readiness for long-term commitment won’t be as blaring as his Coexist bumper sticker.

As a married guy, I can tell you that I felt ready at the exact moment my now-wife told me that she wouldn’t be dating me for a fifth year. #Romantic! What can I say? I’m a recovered louse who wised up to a good thing. But I often hear about my sister’s — and my wife’s girlfriends’ — dating debacles. And based on these tales, I understand that the struggle to find a quality guy who wants something serious is real — scary real.