Appearing before Parliament’s Appointments Committee on Friday, the Asawase Member of Parliament (MP) vowed to take secrets to his grave.

The outspoken politician’s assurance came after Minority Leader Alexander Afenyo-Markin questioned his ability to maintain discretion under pressure.

“Your colleagues I interacted with upon your nomination expressed joy because they say you are very hardworking. But they were quick to say that when your back is against the wall, you can spill.

“Let me ask you, are you ready to enter your casket with some dirt on you, even when you are innocent, to save the nation?” the Effutu MP queried.

In response, Muntaka cited personal experiences from parliamentary duties, recounting circumstances surrounding the election of Alban Bagbin as Speaker in the eighth parliament.

“I will say that you are asking the Pope. I’ll just give one example to reiterate this. I believe that you knew how we elected Mr. Speaker into office. Everybody in this country had done everything humanly possible, I believe even including the security agencies, to know which of your guys supported us, and they don’t know,” he stated.

But Mr. Afenyo-Markin rebutted, “We know.”

This triggered exchanges between the duo as Muntaka replied: “You don’t know, you can only guess. You cannot say you know.”

In his quest to seek an answer, Mr. Afenyo-Markin demanded: “But do you know?”

Muntaka vowed, “I worked with people, and I vowed and told them that not even my wife will know this. I will die with it, and I meant it, and I will die with it. I’m telling you that I’m going to this ministry that is a security zone, an area where you talk less and act more.

“I’m sure you and I, in the last few years that we’ve been in this house, can attest to the fact that there have been so many things between us that no third person has ever known, and I can assure you that no third person will ever know because you can trust me that when I say I am doing this with my honour, I mean I’m doing it on my honour.”

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As I got older, I realized that each one of us had a different kind of bond with each of our parents. Similarly, I got to understand that the way siblings act with you is not the same way they behave with other people.   

I have three brothers who are all older than me. Like normal siblings, we have had our fair share of fights growing up.

Nevertheless, they have always protected, loved and come through for me anytime I needed any of them. For this reason, I love my brothers dearly.  

Jonathan, the eldest, has always been the fun brother. The one who loves partying and cracking jokes. The problem with him though is that ever since he married, we have had to deal with a lot of drama. You see, Jonathan is a very carefree person and the moment his business started booming all hell broke loose. He woke up one day and decided his marriage was not important.

He would treat his wife like she didn’t matter. Patricia, his wife, has always been a softie, which was good since they were opposites. The problem is, my parents always feared that she would snap one day, and it would be a mess.   

Marcel, the second born, has always been the serious brother. The one who focuses on school and building a future. Growing up, I always knew that Marcel would be the good brother. Unfortunately, as an adult, he spent so much time with Jonathan and slowly started messing up. Marcel, unlike Jonathan, married an opinionated and loud wife. Funny enough their bond has always been solid, even though I know he has cheated two or three times. The good thing is I never bother to discuss people’s businesses.  

Francis, the third born, has always behaved like a last born. In most families, the third born is rarely taken seriously. Most times, even those around them rarely notice their presence. For Francis, it was different. Somehow, from a young age, he knew he would end up being neglected, and so he forced issues. Francis always made his presence known. Unlike my other brothers though, he never had dramatical issues.  

Remember when I said my parents feared that one day Patricia would snap? She did and on the one weekend I hoped we wouldn’t deal with drama. My husband Micheal and I had been fighting for a while during my sixth month of being pregnant. Somehow, we didn’t seem to agree on a lot of things which was starting to take a toll on our marriage. To try and deal with our issues I decided to organize a weekend getaway. The plan was to host a small get-together with my brothers, their wives and a few other friends.   

Luckily, everyone agreed including Micheal which gave me the motivation to plan for everything. When the weekend finally arrived, everyone showed up on time and assumed their roles. The men spent time roasting the meat while the ladies helped in preparing the meals.   

By midday everyone was full, the music was booming and all I could see were smiles all around. Some people were catching up, some were playing video games and others had blacked out. Later, I suggested a drinking game to spice up the evening even though I couldn’t drink. The name of the card deck was “Drink if you have ever…”   

We sat in a circle and Francis picked up the first card. The first bunch were easy casual questions. Everything was going well until Jonathan picked the first dirty card. The card read, “Drink if you have ever been involved in a threesome.” My brother, being the carefree guy as usual, took a shot. To avoid feeling sorry for Patricia we all looked at each other for a moment then looked down.   

My first thought was that she would casually smile and pretend it was not an issue. Patricia hated embarrassment, especially around people she knew. Surprisingly though, on this day she stood up and turned to face Jonathan.  

“When did you have a threesome? We have been together since the first year of college,” She snapped.  

“The card read drink if you have ever. It didn’t say that I have to explain,” He replied arrogantly. 

Everyone remained silent and I could tell from the expression on their faces that they were as shocked as I was. A few minutes later, Marcel popped up. He was one of the people that had blacked out during the day because of drinking.   

“What are we doing?” He asked casually.  

“We are playing a drinking game,” I replied.  

Marcel picked up the card that Jonathan had picked and also took a shot. I held my head in disappointment as his wife stood up as well.  

“Tell me you decided to drink for fun,” She said.  

Marcel didn’t respond, instead, he gave her a smirk.   

“I knew your husband was a bad influence on my man!” She snapped while facing Patricia.  

“The same man that has been spotted three times at a club with a woman who is not you?” Patricia said.  

“Excuse me?” Marcel’s wife said.  

“Why don’t you ask Marcel where he goes when he disappears on random weekends for a work trip,” Patricia said.  

“I think we just need to take a moment to breathe before we say something we are all going to regret,” Francis’s wife said.  

“Sit down, your husband is nothing but a self-loving diva,” Patricia responded.  

Francis’s wife sat down silently as we all gasped. I felt the urge to stand up and stop the drama but realised that Patricia was on fire. One wrong move and she would have ended up talking to me badly. Now I didn’t have anything to hide, and nobody ever bothered about Micheal. However, my brothers have always been protective, and I knew it would cause more drama.  

Micheal slowly moved closer to me and asked if we should head to bed. I gave him a slight nod and we slowly left the drama circle. From our room though, we could hear Patricia arguing with Jonathan. Interestingly, the moment we left so did the other people. I could also spot Marcel and his wife yelling at each other at some corner.  

The following morning, I found everyone at the table having breakfast. Jonathan and Patricia were seated far away from each other. Marcel was seated beside me, but his wife was nowhere to be seen. The rest of the people were seated beside their significant other but in silence. Later in the day when Micheal and I got home, we discovered that so much was said. A lot of which we didn’t hear.  

My brother’s wives have always been close and so the moment Patricia snapped she used the chance to spill their secrets. A few days later my entire family got to know about the drama and my brothers ended up in trouble. I would like to tell you that I sat them down to address the issues, but I didn’t. It may sound ignorant, but it wasn’t my place to do so. From that game, I was able to see my brothers in a different light. As much as I still love them, I can only hope that Micheal never puts me through what my sisters-in-law have gone through.   

The rule of communication and honesty in relationships ensure that there are some unforgivable things you shouldn’t hide from your boyfriend.

To excel in your relationship, you just need to be as open and honest as possible.

The degree of acceptable openness in each relationship is debatable, of course, as there are some things which are logically better left undisclosed. Openness is key in every relationship, especially on fundamental, necessary aspects of each other’s lives. [Credit: Dean Mitchell Getty]

To a large extent however, openness cannot be downplayed and in your relationship with your boyfriend or husband, there are things that you are duty-bound to inform him.

And these are:

1. Your expectations

He should know what he is getting into, right at the start.

The mistake most women make is that they assume that being sensitive is the same thing as being a mind reader.

No man can be sensitive to what he does not know.

Of course, there are general relationship things that anyone in a relationship is expected to know but again, if you have a special, preferred way of having things done, say, your love language, for example, you have to let him know about it – and very early in a relationship!

Please make these very clear right from the start. If you are not upfront about your expectations at the beginning, you cannot expect your partner to conform to your requirements later in the relationship.

2. Children from a past relationship

First things first, this means that you have to acknowledge those past relationships. Let your partner know how you’ve fared in the dating and relationship game.

Also, you cannot keep mum on whether you have any children from previous relationships. Even if the kid is not with you, or if you are not in touch with them, your partner needs to know.

3. Genotype and medical history

Except for being HIV positive or living with Sickle Cell Anemia, your medical information is not something you’d share right off the bat, but at some point, you’d have to.

Especially if the relationship is becoming serious and you sense that your boyfriend wants to take things to the next level.

This follows counter-allegations made against each other for days now.

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I have been advised by some reputable people to drop the argument, I have listened, he said.

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