Dickson Ndiema ambushed the marathon runner as she returned home from church more than a week ago, before dousing her with petrol and setting her ablaze.

Local administrators said the two had been in conflict over a small piece of land in north-west Kenya, where Cheptegei lived and trained.

Ndiema died on Monday night at the intensive care unit where he had been admitted with more than 30% burns on his body.

“It’s true he has died from the [burn] injuries,” Dr Owen Menach from Moi Teaching and Referral Hospital in the town of Eldoret told the BBC.

Ms Cheptegei died last Thursday from 80% burns she sustained during the attack four days earlier.

Neighbours told the BBC that they heard screams before Cheptegei came running towards them shouting for help.

Ndiema was to face charges as police said they were treating Cheptegei’s death as murder, with the former boyfriend named as the main suspect.

Both of them were admitted to Moi Hospital before their deaths.

The 33-year-old Olympian was the third athlete to be killed in Kenya in the last three years, where intimate partners were named as the main suspects by police.

In 2021, world-record holder Agnes Tirop was stabbed to death and six months later Damaris Mutua was strangled.

Cheptegei was born on the Kenyan side of the Kenya-Uganda border, but chose to cross over and represent Uganda to chase her athletics dream when she did not get a breakthrough in Kenya.

When she started getting into running, she joined the Uganda People’s Defence Forces in 2008 and rose to sergeant rank.

Her career included competing in this year’s Paris Olympics. Although she came 44th in the marathon, people in her home area called her “champion”.

Cheptegei is set to be buried on Saturday at her ancestral home in Bukwo, Uganda.

Attacks on women have become a major concern in Kenya. In 2022 at least 34% of women said they had experienced physical violence, according to a national survey.

My first instinct was to turn and walk away, but I didn’t have it in me to be petty.    

“Hi, Bella,” She said shyly.   

“Hey, how have you been?” I said with a fake smile.   

“Good, working as usual and spending time with Greg,” She replied.   

“Greg” it had been so long since I heard his name.    

“Ohh, that’s great to hear,” I said, trying to mask my disappointment.   

“Yeah, anyway, it was good to see you,” She said before leaving.    

I watched her leave and couldn’t believe she was the same Diana I had known since we were children. We used to have so much to talk about, and now it was shocking that we couldn’t even hold a conversation for more than five minutes. All this awkwardness was because of a stupid test that ruined everything.    

I walked to a nearby café and decided to order some food. As I ate, I couldn’t stop thinking about our encounter, which led me to open my Instagram and scroll through her feed. Most of her photos were of her and Greg.

They looked so happy, and as much as I wanted to be happy for her, I couldn’t. Greg was why we weren’t part of each other’s lives anymore. It had been a year, but somehow the wound seemed so fresh.    

Diana and I spent most of our childhood and early adulthood together. Our families were close friends, so we ended up bonding over family get-togethers. Diana was the tough one, and I was always known to be the soft one.

However, she always turned into a simp when it came to relationships. The problem was she would always simp for the wrong guys. After countless relationships, she finally met Greg and knew this was the man she was meant to be with.    

Being her closest friend, I would always tell her when a guy she was dating was not good for her; however, with Greg, that wasn’t the case since he was almost perfect. He always treated her with respect, showered her with love and attention, and spoiled her from time to time. Their relationship was everything I aspired to have, so I was shocked when Diana told me she wanted to test Greg’s loyalty.    

“Excuse me?” I asked her.   

“You know how I have always gone through the worst with guys,” She replied.   

“Yes, and now you have a good one. Is it worth it to throw that away?” I asked her.    

“I just want to be sure that he won’t break me as the rest did,” She said.   

“Okay, so what exactly are you planning?” I asked.    

“I’ll buy tickets for a movie, then come up with an excuse last minute. Then I’ll ask him to go with you instead,” She said.   

“What? How is this going to prove anything?” I asked.   

“Can you chill until I finish?” She asked while rolling her eyes.   

“Okay,” I responded.   

“On that day, I’ll need you to enjoy the movie. Don’t make any moves,” She said.   

“Okay, then what?” I asked in a confused tone.   

“You’ll see,” She responded.   

Diana knew I hated being given information in halves, but I decided to run with her plan. On the day of the movie date, I waited for her call all morning, but she never called. I thought she had abandoned the plan, but I realized that wasn’t the case when Greg called me and asked if I was free. I agreed, and he sent me the details of the venue.    

Since Diana insisted, I shouldn’t make any moves, I dressed casually and left the house. When I got to the cinema, I found Greg waiting for me.    

“The movie is about to start. Should we go in?” Greg asked.    

“Sure,” I responded as we walked.    

As we sat down, I realized I had forgotten to ask Diana which movie she had booked during the planning process. However, even if I googled the movie, it wouldn’t have made a difference since I was already there.    

The movie ran for two hours, and by the time we stepped out, I was utterly mind-blown at the fact that she had chosen a movie she knew I would love. Greg couldn’t stop talking to me about it meaning it was also the kind of movie she knew he would like. We went to a nearby restaurant and talked about the movie as we ate. Once we were done, he offered to drop me home before heading home.    

As I walked into my apartment, I found Diana on the sofa, scrolling through her phone. She looked up at me and smiled.   

“So, how did it go?” She asked.   

“The movie was amazing; I’m shocked we both liked it,” I replied.   

“Well, I guess I know the both of you well,” She responded.   

“So great matchmaker, how was this plan supposed to prove that your boyfriend is loyal?” I asked her as I sat down on the sofa.    

“This was just part one; the script is going smoothly,” She said.   

“Elaborate, please,” I said.   

“Just wait and see,” She said.   

Two weeks after, Greg called me on a random afternoon which seemed odd. Being an overthinker, I thought that something had happened to Diana.   

“Hey, is Diana, okay?” I asked immediately after I picked up.   

“You’re her best friend, remember? So, you’re the one who would tell me if anything happened to her,” He replied with a slight chuckle.    

“Sorry, I’m an overthinker,” I replied.   

“I wanted to ask if you are free this coming weekend. Diana and I were supposed to go to the movies to make up for the time she bailed on me, but she has to travel to her upcountry,” He said.   

“Yeah, sure, the same place as before?” I asked.    

“Yeah,” He replied.   

“Okay, sounds like a plan,” I replied.   

“Great see you then,” He said before hanging up.    

I called Diana immediately to confirm the second phase of the plan.   

“Hey, B,” She said as she picked up.   

“So, this was the plan all along, huh?” I asked.   

“I take it Greg has already called?” She asked.   

“Yes, we’re going to watch a movie this coming Saturday,” I replied.   

“Great, so this time, I want you to make a move. Be touchy and see how he reacts,” She said confidently.   

“Are you serious? You want me to make a move on your boyfriend?” I asked.   

“Yes, and please make sure you wear something short,” She replied.   

“This is madness,” I said.   

“Let me know how it goes,” She said and hung up.   

On the day of the date, I woke up feeling nervous. As much as I wanted to help Diana, I had a bad feeling about how the day would play out. However, since I had promised to do it, I decided to shake it off. Unlike the first date, this one was showing at 9 pm, giving me plenty of time to look for an outfit that would work.    

Luckily, I remembered that Diana would leave some of her clothes at my place whenever she came for a sleepover. I picked one of her dresses, did my makeup, and ordered an Uber. During the car ride, all I could think about was how Greg would perceive me after this movie date.    

When we arrived, I took a moment to breathe and remind myself why I was doing this. As I walked towards Greg, he looked up and was stunned.   

“You look nice,” He said as he hugged me.   

“Thank you,” I responded nervously.    

We went into the theatre, and a few minutes after the movie started, I made my move. After many attempts, Greg leaned over to my ear, and I froze.   

“Could you please stop what you are doing,” He whispered.   

I nodded and kept my hands to myself for the rest of the movie. Once we got out, he turned to me and said he loved Diana and would never want to hurt her. I was relieved and embarrassed at the same time but managed to stay calm. Since it was late, Greg offered to drop me home, and like the first time, I found Diana on my sofa waiting for me.   

“He said that he loves you and would never want to hurt you,’ I said to her before she had the chance to say anything.   

Diana looked up at me and smiled.   

“Don’t ever put me through that again,” I said as I headed to my room.   

“Look on the bright side; you got the chance to wear a cute dress,” She said while laughing.   

Their relationship continued as usual, and things went back to normal. Three weeks later, Greg asked if we could meet up for lunch.    

I thought it was weird, but I decided to go anyway. I got to the restaurant and found him waiting for me. As I approached him, he gave me a broad smile, but I didn’t read much into it.    

“So, what did you want to talk about?” I asked.   

“I have been thinking of that movie night we had a few weeks back, and I just want to be honest with you,” He said.   

“I’m sorry about that day; I feel embarrassed,” I responded shyly.   

“No, you don’t have to be I want you to know that I feel the same about you,” He said.   

“Excuse me?” I asked in shock.   

“I didn’t want to confess it that day because I wasn’t sure about how I felt, but now I am certain that you are the woman of my dreams,” He said.   

“You are dating my best friend. Are you mad?” I asked.   

“I’ll just dump her, then we can give it some time and then be together,” He said.   

I didn’t know how to respond, which prompted me to leave the restaurant and head straight to Diana’s place.    

“Bella?” She said in surprise as she opened the door.   

“I need to tell you something, and I don’t know how you are going to take it,” I replied as I walked into her apartment.   

“Okay,” She said.   

“Greg called me and asked if we could meet. I thought it was weird, but I decided to go anyway. He confessed his feelings for me when I got there,” I said.    

“How can Greg randomly call you three weeks later and ask to see you confess his feelings? This doesn’t make sense unless there’s something you are not telling me about that day you went to a movie with him,” She snapped.   

“I have never wanted Greg, and you know I can’t do anything to hurt you, surely,” I replied.   

“Now I’m not sure; this is too random,” She said.   

“You’ve known me for years; I can’t betray you like that, Diana. Greg isn’t who you think he was, that’s why you decided to test him, and now we have the results,” I said.   

“Maybe he was also trying to test you,” She said.   

“You honestly can’t be that naïve,” I said.   

“Why would Greg want you?” She asked.   

“I’ll brush that off because I know you’re hurt, but I’m not the villain here,” I said.   

“Please just leave; I can’t keep arguing with you,” She said.    

“What are you going to do about Greg?” I asked.   

“Last time I checked my relationship with Greg was just between the two of us,” She said.   

“You’re the one that asked me to test your boyfriend, and he gets a free pass while our friendship goes down the drain?” I asked.   

Diana didn’t respond; instead, she opened the door and signalled me to leave. During the ride home, Greg called me, and I kept declining his calls until he eventually decided to text. I forwarded the texts to Diana, thinking they would help her see the truth but instead, I ended up being blue-ticked.    

A few days later, Diana texted me, saying she needed space from our friendship to process what had happened. I knew this was a polite way of telling me we were done, but I decided to let it be. Greg never called or texted again, meaning that Diana had confronted him and probably told him the truth.    

I hoped that she could see the truth with time, but this was her longest relationship, and if she managed to simp for all her exes, Greg was no different.

As I snapped out of my thoughts, I wished I could go back in time and refuse to do the test. Our friendship could have survived alongside her fake relationship.   

From the video, the incident seemed to have happened in the United States of America due to their accent.

The lady, who was celebrating her birthday, expected her boyfriend to cover the dinner cost of 18 friends she invited for dinner together with her boyfriend.

“You should have paid for all our food… It’s my birthday, you should have gone all out… I cannot believe you’re doing this to me…that’s your job,” she said.

However, her boyfriend refused to foot the bill.

The boyfriend of the lady said, “I am not paying for everybody’s food. It is your birthday, cool, but I am not doing it. Why do you think I have to pay for all your food tho?” he questioned the lady.

Twitter users have since reacted to the video. ‘The 18’ is trending number one with over 200, 000 tweets in reference to the video.

Ghanaians have also waded into the conversation. While some people are backing the lady’s demand, others also think it is wrong for the lady to have demanded such a gesture from her boyfriend.

One Twitter handle wrote: “I have my Ghana card, so I will pay for the 18 girls.”

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My boyfriend has a really good female best friend who he’s known since they were kids.

They grew up next door to each other and their parents are friends. I don’t have a problem with her – we’ve met quite a few times and she seems like a nice person.

Thing is, she’s invited my boyfriend on a weekend glamping trip and is bringing one of her female friends. The idea is they’ll share a yurt and I’m not happy about it.

I don’t want to be a needy, jealous girlfriend, but I checked out this friend on social media and she’s very hot.

Am I being unreasonable to feel this weekend away is inappropriate? I’m pretty sure he’d be raging if I decided to spend a weekend in a tent with two guys.

The truth is, I feel angry and hurt that he’d rather spend a weekend with them than with me. I’d appreciate your opinion.

Coleen says

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. His mate bringing a friend moves the goalposts a bit, so why can’t he invite you along too?

You have to be honest that you’re not happy about it and ask him if he’d be OK with you spending a weekend in a tent with two guys. If he says yes, I think he’s lying!

You can’t stop him from going, but ask him to think about what’s more important– this weekend or your relationship.

If you trusted him 100%, I don’t think you’d be having these feelings, so that’s worth thinking about that too.

Has he given you a reason in the past not to trust him or is it down to insecurity on your part?

It’s a tussle between clipping someone’s wings or letting them fly and seeing what happens.

If he messes up, then at least you know where you stand.

Yaa, in a latest post she made on Instagram, has admitted being a lover girl as she shows of her boyfriend.

The gentleman, identified simply as Manuel, has been her amorous partner since 2017.

She posted a throwback photo of them at an event in Kumasi, when she was resting on his laps.

It is unclear if Manuel owes credit to her new found passion for music, as he is an artiste road manager by profession.

It has been revealed that he is the same unfaced man who was captured tongue-kissing Yaa Jackson in a car.

While the gentleman in question has been showing her off publicly, the 22-year-old chose to keep her man out of public’s eye over personal reasons.

She has, however, flaunted him, in what is a rare instance, to celebrate his birthday in advance.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Konadu Jackson (@yaajackson4)

The woman senses my discomfort and immediately stops, pulling me up beside her with a big, warm giggle and a squeeze.

I relax and remember: This is why I chose her. I like her, I love that giggle, and I know she has absolutely zero interest in poaching my boyfriend.

How do I know this? Because I picked her out of the lineup at one of Nevada’s most storied legal brothels. We hired her to join us for a threesome for an hour, and when our time is up, she will go back out to the bar and charm someone else with that sexy laugh, and we will go home.

I’d never had a “real” threesome before, other than some fairly benign fooling around in college. It had been a lifelong fantasy, but the emotional politics of threesomes always seemed so forbiddingly complicated.

Surely someone would get hurt, someone would feel left out, someone would get jealous ― surely, maybe, definitely me? Plus that third-wheel ― would she turn stalker? Would we get an STI? Would an angry boyfriend show up out of nowhere and make us the unfortunate stars of a true-crime show? Just too risky. So I had resigned myself to the fact that some things are best left to fantasy.

When I met a lover who knew his way around a paid hookup, however, a whole new possibility presented itself. Rod and I headed to the brothel outside Reno, Nevada, to celebrate my upcoming birthday. And it was not at all what I expected.

We took a cab from our hotel in downtown Reno to the brothel’s bar, all flashy neon outside but classic sticky floors and bare-bones Old West saloon inside. Escorts chatted among themselves on bar stools or lounged on velvet banquettes against the wall. It was early ― around 4 p.m. ― and we were some of the only patrons.

A few old men sat at wooden bar tables, eating out of plastic foam TV trays and silently sipping beer. Women who obviously knew them would pop by periodically to pick them up, a scene much more akin to medical assistants ushering patients to the exam room than participants embarking on a sexy encounter.

Rod and I were the subject of great interest ― couples are a fairly rare event ― and we had many friendly women cruise by our table, asking if we had any questions and offering to show us around.

Before we had a chance to chat with anyone in detail, the “lineup” bell rang, and every patron who had not already initiated an encounter with a woman went through a forbidding dungeon-like door into a cavernous hunting lodge space.

In front of a giant stone fireplace, the women lined up. They were every kind of everything ― all different races and body types and styles of dress. I found myself in a rare moment of simply admiring the beautiful diversity of their bodies without that knee-jerk need to compete or compare myself.

I winced a bit self-consciously, however, when I realized that none of them were as old as I was. Would they be turned off by our middle-aged bodies? Wait, was I actually expecting them to be turned on? I was momentarily stumped.

The house manager ― a business-suited woman who was my age ― introduced each woman, who then stepped forward for a moment, gave a little wave and a smile, just like at a beauty pageant.

A handsome young guy in the chair beside us made his pick immediately. His woman grinned and sashayed over to sit on his lap and gave him an enthusiastic greeting ― this was clearly not their first time together. The manager then asked any women who wanted to entertain couples to step forward, and about half of the line did.

Rod and I had made an agreement before we arrived: I got to choose. I already knew that I wanted Carmen, the curvy, dark-haired woman in a fishnet dress and thong who had been the first to say hello to us in the bar. She was flirty and seemed happy. She was pretty and she had that giggle.

So I pointed at her, while my nice-girl upbringing screamed at me silently: Pointing is so rude! The women without dates headed back to the bar and I felt another guilty stab as they filed past us. Had I made them feel rejected? Did they take it personally?

I didn’t have time to think about it because Carmen was shimmying on our lap, or, more specifically, on my lap as I sat on Rod’s lap. Pulling me up by the hand, and looping an arm around him, she led us to the negotiation room.

It was a small room with dim lighting that resembled a hall closet and was just big enough for us all to sit knee to knee while we discussed what our hour might look like and what the price tag would be.

Depending on what services we wanted, our time with Carmen could easily total a thousand dollars or more. She laid out her ground rules (condoms were always required; kissing was OK) and asked if we had any specific requests. Not really, we just want to have fun, we told her. We negotiated a price ― I gulped and Rod agreed.

Then we offered up our genitals for inspection, a quick once-over she conducted with a sly sense of humour while she detailed the rigorous STI testing she undergoes every week.

Oddly, the whole thing was reassuring and funny rather than awkward. STIs are taken very seriously at the brothel, which is obviously a good thing.

The unusual formalities over, we headed to the pay window and forked over the cash. Once we were finished, we followed Carmen down a maze-like hallway — a literal red light glowed everywhere ― and she pranced along ahead of us with a Champagne bottle in an ice bucket.

When we finally got to her room, a tiny, semi-personalized space, I was thrilled to find it was toasty ― I’m always freezing when I’m nervous. Carmen pointed out condoms, towels, the fresh sheets on the bed, and the adjoining bathroom (which she shared with the woman in the room next door). The little tour was a strange combination of straight commerce and flirtation.

Carmen seemed to be a naturally touchy-feely person and she held my arm or tapped my back as she showed us around. I noticed that she focused her attention much more on me than Rod, which charmed me, but the cynical observer in me noted that it is an undoubtedly smart, practiced move — she is obviously well-versed in disarming the female competition and jealousy aspect of these encounters.

Things flowed effortlessly between Carmen and me, from our intro chatter to getting into the horizontal action, and within minutes Rod enthusiastically joined in, the three of us rotating around in a surprisingly fluid give-and-take. While he nominally took charge ― after all, a threesome needs a little direction ― it was overwhelmingly female-centred sex. I smiled to myself.

Threesomes are such trite male-fantasy territory, but Carmen and I were a girl party of teamwork, exploration and celebration. I even joked at one point that we hoped Rod didn’t feel excluded. (He decidedly did not.) The whole experience was fun and sexy ― all I had hoped it would be ― with none of the awkwardness I had feared.

Carmen was unfailingly charming and enthusiastic, but I never once mistook her warmth for actual sexual excitement. There was no pretense on anyone’s part that this encounter was expected to include satisfaction for her.

I asked her about this later, as we all lounged naked on the bed, sipping Champagne and chatting. She batted the question down with a polished little sidestep ― she explained that she has enough fun just making her clients happy, and it’s too much work to have orgasms all day long anyway.

We asked her where she grew up (Venezuela) and how she got into this line of work. (She was initially a stripper but found brothel work safer, with less harassment and more money.) When I wondered aloud whether the post-coital chat was the best or worst part of the job, Carmen assured me she looks forward to connecting with customers and that the old saw is actually true: She often has clients who pay just to talk.

Way too soon, an intercom buzzer rang and a female voice let us know our time was up. I had wondered about security ― surely there was a network of bouncers and cameras and intercoms and emergency buttons to protect the women, but everything was so discreet, we didn’t notice any of it. We jumped up and bustled around, helping Carmen strip the bed and straighten up (even though she insisted we didn’t have to) and then the three of us spilt out into the hallway.

We returned to the bar where we began our adventure for some final chatter and a drink. We were sitting cozily together at a table and laughing at our own newly made inside jokes when a young woman who looked fresh off a farm joined us. She clearly had a friendly relationship with Carmen and was eager to know, “What exactly do you do in a threesome?” As we happily shared our insights, she turned to me and said with a wink, “This is what happens to a girl when you raise her in a really strict, controlling religion!” I raised my glass and said, “That makes two of us, girlfriend! Amen!”

A drink suddenly arrived at our table for Carmen. It was sent from a gentleman at the bar, and she smiled and raised a toast to him. She got up immediately and, after squeezing my leg in a little goodbye, strutted over to him.

I watched as they chatted for a few moments and then she linked her arm in his and led him over to the big lodge door. The last thing I heard as it swung shut behind them was that warm, bubbly giggle, and I found myself sad to see her go. I guess I was jealous after all.

******

Melissa Duge Spiers is an award-winning screenwriter and memoirist, whose memoir-in-progress, “The Glory Whole,” won the Book Pipeline 2021 Unpublished Manuscript Non-Fiction award. She is represented by Dani Segelbaum/The Carol Mann Agency. For more from her, visit her Instagram at @mdugespiers.

I’m a 28-year-old woman and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 10 years after meeting during our first year at university.

We had a daughter four years ago, which wasn’t planned, but we both adore her.

My problem is, while I’ve matured and take parenting and family life really seriously, he seems to have gone the other way and has been reliving his teenage years.

Now life is opening up again following the lockdowns, he’s at the pub a lot with his mates or stays late at work. Meaning I’m doing most of the childcare, while he gets to do all the fun stuff like playing with her and reading bedtime stories.

I feel bad complaining because I do really love him and I know he loves us, but I just wish he’d grow up a bit and take on more responsibility at home.

I’m worried our relationship is sliding into an unhealthy place and he’s just not present enough.

I can feel myself getting angry with him, which has never happened before.

How can I get him to see things from my point of view without causing a massive argument to blow up?

Coleen says

Just talk about it, but don’t go into it thinking it’s going to be an argument. Approach it calmly and make it a ­discussion where you listen to each other.

Try to get him to appreciate that you’re only 28 too, yet you’re being expected to stay at home a lot while he’s out with his mates or colleagues.

Compromise is the key to any healthy, long-term relationship – taking it in turns, supporting the other person and trying to find a balance that works for both of you.

Tackle it now and come up with a plan before it does slide into a place that’s hard to get out of.

Coleen says

Just talk about it, but don’t go into it thinking it’s going to be an argument. Approach it calmly and make it a ­discussion where you listen to each other.

Try to get him to appreciate that you’re only 28 too, yet you’re being expected to stay at home a lot while he’s out with his mates or colleagues.

Compromise is the key to any healthy, long-term relationship – taking it in turns, supporting the other person and trying to find a balance that works for both of you.

Tackle it now and come up with a plan before it does slide into a place that’s hard to get out of.

At his age, he’s going through all kinds of hormonal and sexual changes, discovering who he is and experimenting.

He might be doing it for fun, comfort or sexual reasons, and he might lose interest in cross-dressing or it may become a lifelong thing.

If you want to support him, I think the most important thing is to emphasise that it’s a form of expression and not something he has to resist, feel guilty about or overcome.

Generally, people who cross dress don’t see themselves as a different gender to the one they were assigned at birth.

There’s plenty of support and information available online – visit beaumontsociety.org.uk

Dear Coleen

My son is desperately fighting for the right to see his seven-year-old daughter after going through an acrimonious divorce.

He also suffered a brain injury a few years ago and has struggled emotionally ever since.

He attempted to end his life because his ex-wife won’t allow him to see his daughter and his doctor put him on a course of anti-depressants.

What can he do when her solicitor, social services and Citizens Advice do not respond to his pleas and requests for help?

He has solicitor’s fees of thousands of pounds to pay, so he’s at the point where he can’t afford legal advice anymore.

The court process for custody is going to take months.

I’d be grateful for any advice.

Coleen says

Personally, I think the system for fathers is outdated and desperately needs looking into, and even when rights are granted there can be lots of restrictions put in place.

It’s very sad and so damaging when someone uses a child to hurt an ex-partner, so if that’s the case I really feel for your son and the rest of your family.

It sounds as if you’re going down all the right channels. You don’t say if Cafcass is involved, but you can find more information at cafcass.gov.uk.

As a mum, I think the most important thing you can do is to support your son with his mental health and wellbeing, so he feels stronger and more able to cope with the process.

Antidepressants are a good short-term measure, but I think ongoing counselling is vital, so encourage him to speak to his GP about a referral or you can visit bacp.co.uk to find a private therapist in your area.

It’s very hard to watch your son go through this, but try to take things one step at a time. In the meantime, keep everything for your granddaughter – cards, gifts and so on. Trust that at some point she will want to have a relationship with her father.

I’d like to reply to the woman having revenge sex with other men in retaliation for her husband’s cheating (Dear Coleen, Jan 25).

You make a fine pair and should stay together and work it out! Stop thinking about yourselves for a moment and think about your kids and what they need from their parents.

But one woman on Reddit has discovered there are still some people who don’t want to let go of their gendered views – as her friends told her she would “humiliate” her boyfriend if she proposed.

The woman explained she and her partner have spoken about marriage and she wants to surprise him by getting down on one knee at his birthday party in March, but her friends have told her not to because it might make him feel like less of a man.

She said: “I met my boyfriend almost three years ago now.”

Things remained professional and friendly between us for months because we were working for the same corporation, but as soon as we kissed we took things seriously.

“It then all evolved quickly and very naturally. I’ve never felt as happy and safe romantically as I can be with him. Marrying each other is something we both see happen, and we know that’s something we want.

“Talking with a mutual friend, I admitted that I was considering proposing at his birthday party in March, but I was not expecting the friend to laugh at me.”

The woman claimed her friend told her she would “hurt” her boyfriend by proposing as it would likely emasculate him, as it is traditionally a man’s job to get down on one knee.

She added: “He said that I should know better than to propose to such an ‘alpha, strong, proud man and that it would only hurt him if I was the one making that step because then it would be humiliating to him.

“The discussion shocked me so I asked a few of his friends who all claimed the same. They said the man has to propose and if I don’t give him that chance, it will be the same as publicly castrating him.”

Commenters on the post were split on the subject, as while many of them insisted the gender of the person proposing doesn’t matter, they were also keen to mention that surprising him in public isn’t a good idea.

One person said: “I don’t give a s**t about gender roles. Ladies can propose, non-binaries can propose, men can propose, that’s all fine.

“The thing you can’t do is propose at a public function, it creates immense pressure to say yes. Just arrange a private place to ask or discuss marriage.”

And another added: “You’re not the a**hole for wanting to propose, but you would be the a**hole if you did it publicly, especially on his birthday.”

While a third commented: “If you propose in private it’s fine. But you would be the a**hole if you proposed in front of his friends.

“You already know that even if your boyfriend is overjoyed, his friends are going to crap all over this event and make you both feel like shit.”

Many people would be mortified to discover their partner sleeping with someone else, but Merry has explained how she and her former partner had embraced a polyamorous lifestyle, hooking up with one woman either altogether or separately once or twice a week.

Sharing her story on the Strictly Anonymous podcast, the woman – referred to as Merry – explained her love of seeing her boyfriend with other people, and remembered one relationship where she and her partner had a consistent girlfriend.

“When he was with her I’d be like, ‘yeah, send me a picture of you two together, because the thought of them having sex without me there was easily just as hot, or hotter even, than if I was involved,” she described.

And, in one surprising event, Merry recalled that the trio had been at the woman’s house watching some TV when she had fallen asleep. Waking up shortly after, she went to the bedroom to investigate, where she discovered that being denied sex turned her on.

“I went to go find them, and they were in the room, and I was like, ‘can I join?’ And her response was ‘no’, and I kind of died inside – in a good way,” she continued.

“It was like ‘oh wow, that’s really hot. It was a moment for me because I just went back to the couch, and could hear them having sex in the next room, knowing I wasn’t allowed to go and interact with them.”

After realising that she was into this unusual scenario, Merry did some research and discovered that people with a similar type of fetish are often referred to as ‘cuckqueans’.

Continuing her story, she added: “After a while, they did invite me in to join them, and we had more of a threesome that one day.

“But the memorable part was being denied and not being allowed, that was the highlight.”

Merry dated her partner for seven years, and during that time, the pair established boundaries to ensure their polyamarous relationship would be successful.

Hannah Sindrey, 24, and Kelly Blackwell, 26, are accused of attacking and killing Sindrey’s boyfriend Paul Fletcher, 31, at the start of this year at Sindrey’s New Year’s Eve party.

Fletcher was found unresponsive at around 1 am on January 1 at Sindrey’s home in Worcester Drive, Rayleigh, and died at the scene.

At the opening of Sindrey and Blackwell’s trial on Tuesday (November 30), Basildon Crown Court heard that Fletcher died from a stab wound to the chest, reports Essex Live.

The pair both deny murdering Fletcher.

The court heard that Sindrey’s father, her two children, Blackwell, her four children, Fletcher and his friend all attended the party.

At one point Fletcher, who had taken cocaine, mentioned that he believed Sindrey was cheating on him.

Christine Agnew QC, prosecuting, told the court that he had consequently taken both Sindrey and Blackwell’s phones, leading them to become enraged and confront him.

At around midnight, Agnew said a neighbour had seen Sindrey outside the flat with blood on her hands saying “he’s been stabbed” and telling them to call the emergency services.

She told the jury: “They both either intended to kill him or cause him really serious harm.

“At the time, Hannah Sindrey was Paul Fletcher’s girlfriend and Kelly Blackwell was a friend of Hannah’s.

“Both were slapping him and shouted at him and Kelly was waving a knife around enraged.

“[Fletcher’s friend] took the knife from her and left it in the kitchen.

“A short time later he saw both women attacking Mr Fletcher. Kelly was slapping him and at the time Hannah was holding the same knife making stabbing motions towards him.

“The knife did make contact with Mr Fletcher and he was stabbed with some force. He had a stab wound to the chest, through the heart.”

Both women deny being the person who inflicted the wound.

Agnew said that Sindrey’s father had left the flat earlier in the evening. Fletcher’s friend also had enough of the fight and left the flat after moving the “hysterical” children into a bedroom.

The man walked out of the block and told a man who was smoking outside to call the police, to which the man responded saying they had already been called.

Agnew said that Sindrey had been witnessed kneeling down next to where Fletcher lay in the flat, saying “wake up, we have got a baby on the way”.

She continued: “[Fletcher] was declared dead at 1:48 am. The police found Kelly Blackwell in the communal hallway, she was hysterical and quite drunk.

“She said ‘Hannah stabbed him, she is his girlfriend’.

“Hannah Sindrey was in the flat was hysterical, kicking out and thrashing throughout the time officers were in the flat.

“It was obvious that someone or some people had killed Paul Fletcher.”

The trial continues.

And the next best thing to experiencing true love is declaring those feelings out loud to the man you’ve fallen for, right?

Well, not always …

If you say I love you too soon, especially if it’s sooner than he’s willing to say those three words in return, his silence can feel insufferable.

In a flash, that easy, comfortable feeling you had in your relationship goes running out the door, while vulnerability, discomfort, and anxiety come rushing inside.

His lack of verbal reciprocation may even cause you to reconsider the value of your relationship altogether.

In truth, a man clearly shows his level of commitment to you when he dates you exclusively, shares himself with you intimately, and does things like consulting with you while planning his schedule.

And yet, there’s a tendency to judge the validity of a relationship, as well as a man’s intention, by his willingness, or lack thereof, to say those three words.

The problem is that doing so can unnecessarily sabotage an otherwise promising new romance, which is why it’s valuable to first understand what may be going on for him on a deeper level.

Here are 3 possible reasons your boyfriend won’t say “I love you” that you may not have considered before:

1. He associates saying “I love you” with expectations he isn’t ready to fulfill

Expectations are one of the most deadly threats to relationships because they replace open communication with unspoken presumptions.

Many men associate saying I love you with the onset of new expectations they know they aren’t ready to fulfill.

Others are simply afraid of what those expectations might be, thus they choose to keep everything moving along pressure-free.

Does that mean your man isn’t willing to give you everything you want? No. In fact, he may already be giving you more than you imagined.

The key is to clarify where he’s at and what his intentions are. Just as some men side-step a boyfriend label while simultaneously being the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, the fear of expectation can inspire a man to express love through action rather than words.

2. He doesn’t feel like he can live up to his definition of what saying “I love you” means

Everyone associates different things with being in love. Your man may associate saying I love you with actions he’s not ready to take, or other conditions he’s not yet experienced yet.

The more honorable your man is, the more important it will be for him to feel like he can live up to his definition of what saying I love you means.

Thus, instead of prematurely pulling out of the emotional investment necessary to yield those three words, find out what professing love means to him specifically.

3. He’s genuinely not in love with you

Just as you can love someone without being in love, fabulous times, passionate kisses and intimate lovemaking don’t necessarily equal being in love.

It’s easy to assume that the man who bears his soul to you on a regular basis without wanting anyone else must be in love with you. But as crazy as it sounds, it’s possible for a man to share virtually every aspect of his life with you without being in love with you.

As much as he cares about you, it is possible he’s just not in love with you.

So what should you do if your man won’t say I love you?

First, remember that all men and women experience and define love in all different ways. It’s critical for you to refrain from making assumptions when he refrains from saying I love you.

Second, make it a point to learn what your man associates with saying I love you, along with what he believes will be expected of him. Then you’ll have a better understanding of what saying those words mean to him.

Third, check-in with yourself and be sure that you aren’t placing greater emphasis on words than what you’re actually experiencing in your relationship.

While it’s easy to harp on why he won’t say I love you, it’s equally important to understand why you’re placing so much value on him doing so.

The incident happened around 7 pm at Asankare, a community in the Asante Akyem South municipality of the Ashanti Region.

The deceased, Seidu Mohammed was stabbed in the neck during an argument with the victim identified as Gifty Nana.

According to an eyewitness and neighbour, Nuhu Azizu, prior to the crime, the duo was all loved-up while eating together.

He suspects a misunderstanding ensued later over sexual denial on the part of Gifty.

He made the conclusion following the discovery of a dildo that was resting on the bed, together with the bloody body of Seidu.

After perpetrating the act, the suspect is said to have fled the scene and information received indicates that she was in a hideout in Accra.

Nuhu added that on Wednesday morning, they were updated that Gifty had handed herself over to the Accra Police, and is yet to be transferred to Asankare district police.

Meanwhile, the body of Seidu Mohammed has been deposited at the Juasi Government Hospital, pending further investigations.

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It was so unlike them to watch TV till that late. From the look on their faces when I entered, I knew something was wrong. I greeted and went straight into my room.

A few minutes later, my mum entered, followed by my dad. My mum asked my dad, “Should I go first or you will go first?” My dad said, “You’re the woman. Go first.”

My mum asked me, “Where are you coming from this late in the night?” I said, “I went out with some colleagues to celebrate another colleague’s birthday.”

My Dad screamed, “Liar!” My mum said, “Kojo, allow me to finish.” I said, “But mum, I called you this afternoon to tell you that I will be late?” She said, “Yes you said it but I didn’t think it would be this late and I didn’t think you were going out with your boyfriend.” I said, “No it wasn’t my boyfriend.

“It was a birthday I attended with some colleagues.” My Dad again screamed from behind, “Liar!” My mum said, “Kojo don’t come in yet. Let me finish with her first.”

I didn’t know what was going on. I felt ambushed. It was the first time the two of them were doing that to me so I got worried.

My mum continued, “Do you have a boyfriend?” I said, “No I don’t have a boyfriend.” Dad: “Liar!” Mum: “Kojo, I told you to let me finish with her before you come in.”

Mum asked me again, “Do you have a boyfriend, “I was quiet for a while, thinking whether or not to tell them the truth.” Dad said, “Lie again, we are waiting.”

I started laughing and they both started laughing too. I asked, “What is the matter? What have I done wrong and why all these questions?” My dad wanted to talk.

My mum screamed, “I haven’t finished with her.” My dad went quiet. My mum said, “You’re not a child—28 is not a small age.

“You started working when you were only 24. You’ve done well. This is not the age to be chasing men around. This is the time you walk to us and introduce your boyfriend to us.

“You don’t go out under the pretext of a birthday and sleep with a guy and come here this time and pretend you’re holy. We’ve been like you before so we know all the tricks.”

I said, “Mum, it’s a birthday party I went to. I didn’t go to sleep with anyone.” My dad cut in, “You did, you even bathed after everything.

“This is not the dress you took to work this morning. Where did you go to change it?” I chuckled. My mum said, “Whoever is sleeping with you, it’s time to bring the person home so we know he’s serious with you.

“If he can’t man up to meet me and your father, then he has no good intentions. Leave him and bring someone who’s man enough to meet your parents.”

She turned to my dad and said, “Your turn…”

Dad took over from there. He said, “You’re the first child and the rest are looking up to you. The way you live your life would be replicated by them. Don’t give them a reason to live carelessly. Who is Afrifa to you?” I was quiet.

He asked again, “That boy who plays the organ in church, who is he to you?” My mum screamed from behind, “Answer him.” My dad said, “Please, when you were talking I didn’t talk, allow me.” Mum retorted, “You did the same when I was talking.”

Dad continued, “I know what’s going on between you two. If he’s the one, bring him home, or else, the next time I see the two of you together in the church, I’ll misbehave.”

They were telling the truth that night. It wasn’t a birthday party I attended. I went out with Afrifa to celebrate the second anniversary of our relationship.

But looking at the way they had their facts spot on, I figured it was my junior sister who had been giving them the information. I stopped talking to her.

The next day I told Afrifa what happened. We both laughed. He said: “They’re saying the truth. I will come home to meet them officially.”

So, the next Sunday after church, the two of us went home to meet my parents. That day was another drama I’m not ready to go into.

After doing the introduction, my dad asked, “How long have you been together?” Afrifa said, “Two years.”

My dad turned to my mum and said, “Sweetheart, did you hear that? He’s been ‘chopping’ our daughter’ for the last two years.” My mum said, “No they are Christians. They won’t do that.”

Then she turned to me and asked, “You are a virgin, right?” I shook my head. My mum said, “Gentleman, bring the drinks tomorrow, we’ll be waiting.”

After that introduction, they turned their attention to Afrifa. My mum will call him in the early mornings and asked him when he’s coming home to marry me.

My dad was worse. He’ll call him on Saturdays and remind him that Saturdays are for weddings so why is he wasting the Saturdays.

One Sunday after church, my dad sat In Afrifa’s car and followed him to his house. He said my dad went around the house inspecting everything.

After everything, he told him, “So what are you waiting for? When I married my wife, I was living in my parent’s house. See your house.” Everything shows you’re ready.”

The good thing was, Afrifa never took it the wrong way. He rahter made jokes out of it and laughed. I was worried. I got angry often but he told me, “They are right.

“No parents would like to see their daughter’s life wasted by another man. Allow them. I love your dad. When I grow up, I will be like him.

“One day after church, I saw my dad standing there talking to Afrifa. They were both laughing. I felt at ease. After their chat, I asked Afrifa, “What did he say?”

He answered, “Your dad is quite a funny man. He said someone from abroad is coming to marry you. The person is even ready to take you abroad after marriage so he’s entertaining the person’s offer.

After telling me that, he looked at my face and said, “See how your heart is beating faster. Abi you’re scared? Don’t mind me I’m lying.” That was when we both burst out laughing.”

The day Afrifa and his family came to do the ‘knocking,’ my dad said to his Dad, “If I give you a list based on how long your son has shaken the waist of my daughter, you guys would pay millions but I love Afrifa.

“He’s my son. He’s the only one who makes me dance in church when he plays the keyboard so I’ll make the list short and cheap.”

We’ve been married for three years. When we had our first child and we were thinking about what to call him, Afrifa said, “This one will bear the name of your father. My one and only in-law.”

Since we got married, I hardly hear from my dad. If I don’t call him, he’ll never call. I miss him every day but he won’t visit.

You ask him to visit and he’ll tell you, “I don’t have time. I’m looking after your sisters.”

He sought to say, “I brought you home.

I’m not hiding you from the most important people in my life. That means you’re very important to me.”

At his home, his father liked me and his mother called me an in-law instantly and even took my number which she called very often to ask how far the relationship was going.

She often told me, “Make sure you don’t allow him to escape marriage. You’re a good woman and can be a good wife to him. Bring his mind home and push him to settle with you.”

His mother was obviously in a hurry to see her grandchildren but marriage is a forever journey. You don’t rush into something you’re going to spend forever living with the results. You take your time.

You observe. You ask questions to know what you’re getting into. You give each other space to explore in the present what the future would be like before you decide that this one is who I’m ready to spend my forever with.

I observed and realized one thing about my boyfriend; He didn’t like to give. Not that I went into the relationship expecting him to look after me.

Far from that. I had a job that pays well. I’m content. But no matter what, a time comes in the lives of people in love where they are both expected to exchange gifts.

One of these times is Valentine’s day. I bought him a gift, sent him a lovely message to tell him how awesome he had been in my life and how I would choose him over and over again if I had to.

He took the gift and gave nothing back. He responded to my message in equal terms, promising me unending love and a great future together. He ended his message with, “Long live my love. Long live Catherine.”

That was our first Valentine together. I didn’t make much of it. You know guys are not usually into things of such nature. It’s us women who are sentimental about events and celebrations. I let it slide. His birthday was September.

He spent weeks reminding me of his birthday so I was prepared for it. On that day, I bought him new pair of shoes and socks. He needed it. Not only that. He’s a lover of ties.

I bought him a pair and added a beautiful wristwatch to it. He told me, “All my life, I’ve never had a girlfriend doll on me as you’ve done on my birthday. Thank you so much. I love you.”

I was happy he loved it and to date, he still uses that watch I bought him, calling it his favorite wristwatch. Not that he has other watches though. December was my birthday.

I woke up to a very long message assuring me of forever love and care and future greatness. He ended it with, “Long live my love. Long live Catherine.” Nothing came afterward; no gift. No outing. Nothing! “Well, my birthday is closer to Christmas. Maybe, he’s planning to give me a double dose of a gift. Let’s wait and see.” Christmas came

. I sent him his gift and sent him the usual Christmas messages. I waited till Christmas was over. All I had for Christmas was a long message that ended with, “Long live my love. Long live Catherine.”

I started getting uneasy. I told my mom about it. “Mom, I like Prosper very much but I think he’s stingy. Could you believe we picked a dropping to his house and he asked me to pay for it? Not once and not twice.

Even when we pick trotro I pay for the fare. He will tell me, “I don’t have small denominations, so give him money.

Everyday!” My mom laughed at me. She said, “You ladies of these days are spoilt. You want to find everything in a man but it’s not possible. If you find a man who gives you everything.

That man might be a womanizer. You may find a kind and loving man. In the end, you’ll see that man is a drunkard or authoritative. You can’t have it all my dear. You can’t.” 

When your mother loves your boyfriend, they love them wholeheartedly. Giving you positive vibes to keep going.

They wouldn’t like to be the women who destroyed the relationship of their daughters so they always direct your eyes and focus on the positives. 

It’s been a year and a half in a relationship with Prosper. I had learned to live with his stinginess after several failed attempts to get him to change.

You’ll talk to him about it today and he’ll promise you that he will change. When the opportunity arrives for him to show the change he promised, he fails.

I also decided to play to his own tunes. If you give I give. If you don’t, I don’t. It was stressful for me because living that way with him was against everything that I am. I thought of leaving him on many occasions but mom’s voice came to me to change my mind; “Look at the positives, my dear. Look at the positives.”

I didn’t even know what the positives were so I had to accept the basics as the standard. 

One day, Prosper was coming to our house for a visit. He called to tell me in the morning and I told my mom about it.

Whenever he comes around, my mom would be in the kitchen, putting things together so she could serve him some delicious meals. Left to me alone, even water, I wouldn’t give him. Prosper was coming from town.

My mother needed a medicated soap which we didn’t get in our neighbourhood so I told her, “Why don’t we tell prosper. He might get some on his way coming.”

My mom picked the phone and called prosper. He agreed to get the soap; two pieces of bar soap. Prosper got to the house, greeted, and sat down. My mother came to welcome him with a drink and later serve him his food.

That was when my mother collected the soap from him and thanked him. Prosper said, “It’s only GHC20.50p.

My mom answered, “Oh then it’s cheap where you bought it.” He ate everything from the plate. Drank all the drink and belched on top. By then my mom was ready to leave for town.

She came to tell us she was leaving and Prosper said, “Should I take the soap money from Catherine?” Obviously, my mom was stunned but she behaved it was alright. She said, “Yeah, Catherine would give it to you.”

When it was time for him to leave, he didn’t ask me about the money and I also pretended I had forgotten. The next day, he called my mother to tell her, “Yesterday Catherine refused to give me the money ooo.” My mother screamed, “Oh really.

Why would she do that? Don’t worry, I’ll give it to you myself.” He responded, “Thank you very much. You can even send it to me through MoMo.”

My mom came home that day and told me, “When next Prosper comes here, he shouldn’t expect me to cook for him again. He doesn’t know courtesy and that’s a no for me.” I called Prosper. I was very angry. “Prosper, you went that far?” He answered, “But you people didn’t tell me to buy the soap for free.

At least when I asked about it in the house, your mom should have told me that she wasn’t going to pay so I forget about it. What is GHC20.50 that I can’t let it go?” 

He lost my mom and lost the foundation on which the relationship stood. I must admit. I went for two years with him just because my mother liked him.

When my mother’s love for him waned, I slowly allowed the relationship to deteriorate until there was nothing left. We hadn’t spoken for one whole week when he called me; “You don’t call me these days.” I said, “You also don’t call me these days.”

He asked, “Are we really together?” I said, “We haven’t been together for a long time. I thought you got the message.” We both hang up and that was the end of us. 

September last year was his 40th birthday and he’s still single. That should tell you he’s the kind of man no woman would like to spend their forever with. I got married a year and a half ago.             

He said, “Good morning Fafa, I can understand why you don’t want to talk to me but I’m not a bad person.

I just want to be friends.” I ignored him. I said in my head, “Where’s this guy from that all of a sudden he needs a friend in me? I know his kind. Today friends.

You give him a small chance, then he’ll be talking about love and sex. You devil, go away from me.” But he came again the next day, the next day again he came.

The following day he came but I kept ignoring him until one morning he said to me, “I found you through Dela. She said a lot of things about you, that’s why I’m here.”

I responded immediately, “What things did she say about me?” Before he could say anything else, I tapped on his name and started going through his profile. I said in my head, “Well, he’s a nice guy though. That’s if pictures are anything to go by.”

Dela indeed was our mutual friend and it looked like they both attended the same senior high school. When I came back to our chat, he had sent this, “Well, she said you guys are good friends and you’re such a nice lady who brings beauty to things.”

In my mind I was like, “Dela said that to you? She doesn’t even talk to me. Why would she say good things about me to people and still try to avoid me?”

I didn’t know where and how the problem between me and Dela started. We were very good together until one day she started showing me attitude.

She wouldn’t pick my calls and wouldn’t return my missed calls. When I texted her, sometimes she replied and mostly she ignored me.

She was someone I spent a lot of weekends within her house but all of a sudden, she wasn’t interested in seeing me around or hanging out with me again. I asked why on several occasions and all her answers to me were vague.

She will say, “Oh there’s nothing wrong.” Tomorrow she’ll say, “Oh we are fine but I’ve been too busy these days.” Nothing she said made sense until I decided not to bother her again.

So I asked this guy in my inbox, “How did you two begin talking about me? What was the topic?” He responded, “She posted a photo of you on your birthday and I asked about you.

She said all the good things so I decided to know you too.” I asked him, “Is that all you two discussed?” He sent a laughing emoji and said, “Yes, that’s all. Nothing serious.” Immediately when we stopped talking, I called Dela. Surprisingly, she picked my call the first time.

I asked her, “There’s this guy in my DM, Annan. Do you know him?” She responded, “Oh, he found you?” I asked, “What do you mean he found me?” She answered, “I posted you on my status on your birthday. He saw you and started asking me about you.

Finally, he said he likes you so I should give him your number, which I declined but I didn’t know he’ll look for you on Facebook.” I asked her stupidly, “What do you think he wants from me?” She answered, “Maybe a relationship but be careful. He’s a womanizer.” That did it for me. 

I spent the next several months trying to avoid him. He kept sending me messages upon messages that I ignored until one day a call came through on my phone.

It was him. “How did you get my number?” He said, “I got it from your business page.

I’ve had it for so long but I wanted a situation where you yourself will give it to me willingly but it looks like it’s not going to happen.

I’m not a bad person. You can ask your friend. She knows me very well…” I cut through and said, “Yeah she knows you. That’s how come she knows you like women.”  

He went silent on the phone for a while and later said bye-bye. I knew I had said something that hurt him. I felt sorry. If anything, he was only trying to be friends and didn’t deserve to be told that.

I called him in the evening and I apologized to him. He asked if it’s Dela who told me he was a womanizer. I said it didn’t matter but I was very sorry. 

Some days he’ll call and other times he’ll send a message. One thing I liked about him, he was never boring. He asked questions I was interested in answering.

He brought topics I was excited to talk about. Then one day we met. He was a charmer. Everything about him was so smooth but I couldn’t shake off the womanizer tag in my head.

I’ve dealt with two of them already and didn’t want a third so that night I asked him, “What did you do to make Dela think you’re a womanizer?” He said, “Dela knew me when we were in senior high school.

Haven’t seen her again until we started talking recently because I asked her about you. Since then she had visited me in the office twice and had come to my house a couple of times. She doesn’t know me enough to call me a womanizer.”

After that meeting, I called Dela. Immediately I told her I met Annan, her demeanour changed. She started telling me about all the women Annan had slept with and jilted. He said a lot of bad things about him.

It made me think she had something against Annan so I stopped telling her what was happening between me and Annan.

So several months later, Annan proposed to me and I remember the answer that came from my mouth was, “What about all the other women in your life? Those you jilted after sleeping with them.” There was this shock in his eyes.

He asked, “So Dela told you all that?” I nodded my head. He said, “I’ll send you some screenshots when you get home.” 

When I got home, he sent over fifty screenshots of conversations between himself and Dela. They started talking just the day he saw my photo on her status and along the line, Dela sounded like she was interested in Annan.

She said everything to suggest that she loved him. She sent her semi-nude photos telling him, “See what you’re missing.”

At some point when Annan agreed that she should visit him in the house, Dela said, “I hope you show me what you’re capable of when I come around.” Then she added a winking emoji.

Then after knowing both of us had met, she started saying bad things about me to Annan; “That girl is not as innocent as you see her oo. She’s my friend. I know her secrets. She’s currently dating two guys together and I know them both.” 

My last relationship ended a year ago and Dela knew it. She was there with me, providing support and care when all I did was cry. So why would she say that I was dating two men?”

Annan asked, “Are you not surprised the same person is calling me a womanizer?” I answered, “Surprisingly, it was just about the same time she started showing me attitude.

Now I know why she’s doing all that.” So that day, I called her and said, “Annan proposed to me last night?” She asked, “And what did you say?” I told her, “I said yes to him. He’s quite a good guy than I expected.”

The next thirty minutes or so, Annan sent me a screenshot; “So you proposed to her finally? You don’t care about being the third boyfriend?”

We both laughed at her and her pettiness.

On 19th October 2019, after almost two years of dating Annan, we had our wedding and moved in together.

We sent her an invite but she didn’t attend our wedding and to date, if anyone asks her why I and her are no more friends, she tells them, “She stabbed me in the back.

She snatched my boyfriend and got married to him.” Those who don’t know the truth believe her and curse me. Those who find it too hard to believe come to ask me and I tell them the truth.

They end up saying, “What sort of witchcraft is that? Dear, enjoy your marriage,” and truthfully, I’ve done nothing else but to enjoy every little bit of this marriage God threw my way.  

The actress in the video showed a stern face as she announced the break up with her boyfriend whose face was not revealed.

Jackie, in the video posted on Instagram, was heard yelling “it is over” despite apologies from the anonymous man as he threw a few dollars on the actress.

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In a quick U-turn, Jacqie replied smiling as she picked up the notes amid assurance of a second chance.

“Baby this is the last time, this is just one last chance,” she said.

Watch the video below:

According to the lady, she once collected a N15m loan for a boyfriend who later absconded. Explaining further, she revealed she also sold her personal car, her father’s land and all her belongings to help the said boyfriend who later fled.

Miss Karen claims that the incident pushed her into a coma that lasted for six months.

She tweeted: “I collected loan of 15 million for my ex, sold my dad’s land, my personal car and virtually all my belongings…A story I will never forget in my life all bcoz of love. I was in COMA at LUTH for complete six months, in fact I thank God for my life. [SIC]”

Explaining further in series of responses to social media users who expressed disbelief, she revealed she was in love and he had cried out to her for help with a business idea he had about aluminium materials.

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“I was in love then because he was the one that got me deflowered. I never knew his intention was deadly. It was a pure foolishness and gullible act but I thank God for my life today. He called me around 4:pm on that day.

“That I should see him, that its urgent, then I left what I was doing, drove straight to his house, then he knelt down and started crying, showed me some business documents related to aluminium materials, crying profusely.

“I have not seen him till date. December 17th will be the last month of the loan… I have evidences not a joke ooo,” she wrote.

The said lover did not forgo the issue for friendship sake, but beat her best friend black and blue over her betrayal.

In a video sighted on social media, the two girls were involved in a fight in the presence of other friends who cheered the lover on as she smacks her ‘rival’.

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Giving a hint on what transpired, the lady behind the video said she deserves beatings for having sex with her friend’s boyfriend and also uploading certain offensive information on her Whatsapp status.

Though others present wanted to intervene, they were ordered not to dare separate them.

Skipping every other Ghanaian man, Akuapem Poloo has willed herself to Nigeria’s Somadina Adinma after his love spear pierced her heart.

Hinting on her relationship status, the actress revealed her family was ready to welcome her boyfriend with open arms.

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Akuapem Poloo is gushing over Somadina who on the other hand cannot stop mentioning her name in the presence of others.

In a recent photo she posted on Instagram, she was in cloud nine, imagining how their unborn babies would look like considering the ‘beauty’ of both parties.

It is uncertain if she is indeed dating the young actor, but constant posting of his photos with romantic caption is enough confirmation.

Somadina is the ex-boyfriend of actress Regina Daniels who brought their relationship to a standstill after her engagement with billionaire Ned Nwoko.

Delay’s status on social media turned green when online reports emerged that she was teasing fans about her new boyfriend.

She addressed the reports by denying the rumours coined from her earlier Instagram post where she posted a photo of someone she described as being “close to her heart”.

I miss you so much babe. You’re always on my mind. You’re my one true love. Remember that my love for you is in a place where there’s no space or time, is the post in reference.

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Shortly after the reports emerged, however, Delay wrote: My last post made the headlines, and I wasn’t even talking about a boyfriend ?? Mabre ooo.

The latest post then prompted a social media user, Sarpong Adriana, to also post a sarcastic, asking, Na awala boy nu ewobi, which translates into the ‘Twi’ parlance as do you even have a boyfriend? [sic]

Adriana’s post drew perhaps got on the nerves of Delay so she asked: even you, you think someone wants you!

Find post below:

For someone, who clearly advised industry players to resist flaunting their lovers on social media because intimate relationships can only be maintained by avoiding social media, it’ll be surprising to see her go against her own words.

Several reports on Tuesday said the popular presenter has finally opened up on who her true boyfriend is but she has denied such in her latest post on Instagram.

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According to her, my last post made the headlines, and I wasn’t even talking about a boyfriend ?? Mabre [I’m tired] ooo.

Meanwhile, Delay has made it clear she will be giving birth in 2022.

Find the original post below:

The subtle disclosure follows fans’ demand for disclosure on her relationships and love life.

Since posting about her boyfriend on instagram, however, a massive stir has erupted by way of engagements.

Eagerly-awaiting fans were disappointed on realising that Delay only posted a photo that hid the face of her said boyfriend.

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“I miss you so much babe. You’re always on my mind. You’re my one true love. Remember that my love for you is in a place where there’s no space or time,” was Delay’s post.

Eager social media users who read the post expressed their disappointment in the half-baked disclosure.

Read her post below:

Asuo Kobi Komfo said some few months before cohabitation, she noticed her boyfriend’s violent behavior but was hopeful he would change with time.

She revealed that as their relationship advanced, matters got worse and she became a ‘punching bag’ anytime there was an altercation.

Born Nana Adutwumwaa, the ‘spiritual doctor’ recounted how she developed permanent scars as a result of her husband’s physical abuse anytime he got intoxicated with alcohol.

“I remember when we were travelling in a car one time I don’t know what came over him but all of a sudden he started pulling my breast out of my blouse. He ripped my dress of and started biting my breast,” she narrated.

That notwithstanding, she revealed in an interview with Nhyira FM’s Obra that three months after, her husband pounced on her once again and bit her tongue, ears and breast after a little misunderstanding.

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The mother of two attributed her boyfriend’s behavior to irresponsibility and cowardice, adding he only gets abusive when she generates more money from her spiritual business.

Despite her spiritual potency, she explained her husband is not fearful of her gods because he has knowledge of how to diminish their potency.

Giving his side of the story on Adom FM’s Dwaso Nsem, Kwame Adutwum, boyfriend of the priestess accused her of being the cause of his behavior, adding she is constantly accusing him of infidelity.

He revealed the biting incident was facilitated by alcohol they had both consumed.

Listen to audio of Kwame denying the claims:

Frightened for her life, Asuo Kobi Komfo has packed out of the house with her two kids and is currently residing with a friend.

She added in the caption that she had a huge fight with her boyfriend because he doesn’t want her posting his pictures.

After sharing the photos, the “boyfriend” tweeted: “I don’t have a girlfriend o.”

He went on to share photos of just him and wrote: “Having friends that take nice pictures of you is very important, that being said I have none”

photos below:

The actress who ranted weeks ago on Instagram of her fiance’s infidelity and shamed him, has publicly apologized through the same medium.

According to the curvy actress, her action was out of anger and a bid to embarrass and ridicule her fiance for toying with her feelings, an accusation she said had been proven wrong.

She further apologised to her man, assuring him of her undying love as she posted a photo of them together.

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A 27-year-old woman, who was in search of accommodation, has reportedly been found dead in her boyfriend’s room in Accra.

According to her brother, James Boafo, who confirmed the incident to Adom News, it is unclear what triggered the death of his sister after she left their house in Tema Community 5 to the boyfriend’s house on Sunday around 9:00am.

“We found her panties and clothes under the man’s bed with leftover indomie and whiskey in the room and found her phone in the toilet.

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“I was in the house on Monday morning when I received a call from the boyfriend telling me my sister was not well and had been rushed to the emergency ward of the Weija Government Hospital.

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“I rushed to the hospital only for the doctor to pull me aside to break the news that she was dead on arrival, with a call placed to the police who are on their way,” he narrated.

He said “we were at the hospital when Inspector Asomani from the Mallam Police station came to convey the body to the Korle-Bu Hospital mortuary.”

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According to him, the family suspects foul play by the police because they were supposed to assist the police in the autopsy but the police did that in isolation only to report to them she died from an open liver.

The boyfriend, who was arrested, has been granted bail.

Listen to the full interview of the deceased brother narrating the incident on Adom News in audio above:

Source: Adomonline.com | Adom News

The scheme involved a lady convincing her 20 boyfriends to buy her 20 new iPhone 7s, which she then sold for enough money to put a down payment on a house.

Using the pseudonym Proud Qiaoba, a blogger gave a detailed description of how the hustle was performed by a colleague of hers, dubbed Xiaoli.

While the legitimacy of the story might sound dubious at first, the BBC reported it has been able to authenticate the claims.

Proud Qiaoba said she was utterly surprised when Xiaoli revealed she sold 20 iPhones to a mobile phone recycling plant for $A23,200 ($17,815) and then used that money for her house deposit.

“Everyone in the office is talking about this now,” Proud Qiaoba wrote in her blog, reports the BBC.

“Who knows what her boyfriends think now this news has become public.”

Proud Qiaoba said Xiaoli did not come from a wealthy family, so she had to think outside the box to raise the funds for a home.

“Her parents are getting old and she might be under a lot pressure hoping to buy them a house,” she wrote.

“But it’s still unbelievable that she could use this method.”

Making the feat even more impressive is the fact the iPhone 7 was only launched on Sept. 17 this year, which means Xiaoli hustled quickly.

Following the story, users on China’s microblogging site Sina Weibo have been expressing admiration for the smart cookie.

“I can’t even find one boyfriend. She can actually find 20 boyfriends at the same time and even get them to buy her an iPhone 7. Just want to ask her to teach me such skills,” wrote one user.

However, not all agree, with other users labeling her “shameless.”

It’s more than likely Xiaoli isn’t too bothered by the negative comments as she is busy moving into her new pad and juggling a roster of 20 boyfriends.

Ebony, born Priscilla Opoku-Kwarteng, was killed in a gory accident on the Sunyani-Kumasi highway after visiting her mother on February 8. Her childhood friend and assistant, Franky Kuri, and their bodyguard also did not survive the crash.
Watch the video below:

He was recently courted by the media in both Nigeria and Ghana when the delectable Ghanaian actress, Juliet Ibrahim, revealed that it is the rapper that holds the key to her heart.

Though Iceberg hates to talk about his romance with Juliet Ibrahim, but there’s enough hint that he may be seriously in love with the Ghanaian mulatto. Iceberg, however, has continued his musical journey by dropping a new single ‘Oluwa’, which he says it’s about him talking to God. Meet the Iceman.

What are we expecting from your new song?

On my new song ‘Oluwa’, you should be expecting a side of Iceberg Slim that the world has probably never seen. I’ve decided to showcase my versatility.

Why has it taken this long to drop it?

It took this long because I was going through a lot, mentally and emotionally. I took time off, to be with my family and loved ones, during our loss. In coming back to Nigeria, I needed to make sure that I was in the best state of mind, to release new music.

Is there going be something for your new love, Juliet Ibrahim, in the song?

The song is about me, speaking to God (Oluwa), pleading for his blessings and grace over myself and the people around me.

The genre of music you were exposed to at a tender age is totally different from what you do at the moment: Why is that?

I was exposed to a lot of Sunny Ade, Fela, Obesere and the likes, but growing up in New York City, I couldn’t speak Yoruba. I appreciated the instrumentation and melodies simply for what it was, great music.

I played the drums and the keyboard in church, and it was the things that I learned from those songs that I replicated. I also sang in the choir, and I’d often use the harmonies/melodies that I heard from those artistes.

Why is it that international artistes have a huge influence on most Nigerian artistes than our African legends?

International artists have a huge influence on most Nigerian artists because most yearn to reach those heights, or level of success, so to speak. Many of our artists want to be known and accepted beyond the walls of Africa, which creates this telescopic mindset that “Whatever they’re doing over there, let me replicate it. Be it the dressing, slang, hair, jewelry etc…” simply put, their eyes are on a bigger market.
How were you able to clinch collaboration with the likes of Ja Rule, 2face, Tiwa Savage, the late Dagrin, Vector, Eldee, Banky W, MI, Ice Prince etc?

I was able to clinch such collaborations simply by the grace of God. I’ve never had to beg or pay for a collaboration, and I believe it’s because everyone that I’ve ever worked with has had this mutual respect for my art and talent. I’ve been privileged to connect with these people, both personally and musically.

You seem to be well connected internationally, why are you yet to be popular among music lovers in Nigeria?

I think this is because my past, lack of consistency. It’s easy to get people’s attention, but it’s hard to keep it. Once the spotlight is on me, and people are awaiting what’s next, that’s when I’d usually just disappear. If you don’t hear from or about Iceberg Slim, you’ll forget about him. Perhaps that may be the reason. But this time around, I’m here to stay.

Rumour has it that you are exploiting Juliet Ibrahim’s fame to rise to stardom. How true is this?

Rumour has it? I’ve never heard such, and besides, there will always be rumours when you’re in any form of spotlight. I’d never exploit anyone, for any type of gain. That would be extremely selfish and immoral. Such behavior goes against my code of ethics.

Critics consider your accusation that Phyno and Peter of P-Square copied the hairstyle you introduced to Nigeria as a publicity stunt. Is this true?

The statement was taken out of context, hence why some would see it as such. I was simply making a reference to the Mohawk hairstyle that became my signature in Nigeria, and then I saw some artists later replicating it. I wasn’t condemning them, nor was I looking for attention. If they were both unknown artists, my point wouldn’t have been misinterpreted, my words would’ve been understood in the simplest format.

If you weren’t an entertainer, what would you possibly be doing?

If I wasn’t an entertainer, I’d probably be an FBI agent. Growing up, I always took a liking to law enforcement, from solving crimes to bringing people to justice, I admired it all. I went to school to study Criminal Justice.

What was it like when you lost your mom?

Words can’t describe the feeling. It’s like literally losing a part of your body, you can never be the same or whole again. The day that I recorded “Oluwa” was the last day that I had spoken to her, before she passed away.

She had always encouraged me to make songs embracing my faith and background, from the church. When I spoke to her that day, she even assisted with the pronunciation of some of the Yoruba words that I used. I made that song to make her proud. However, God called her home a few days later, and she never got to hear the finished song.

Do you feel comfortable with where you are in the Nigerian music industry?

I’m not comfortable with where I am in the Nigerian music industry, but I am content because I know God has a bigger and better plan. I’m working on God’s time, not man’s.

Why didn’t you practice criminal justice since that was the first thing you studied?

I didn’t practice Criminal Justice because I had a huge battle within myself. The tussle was between Goals vs Dreams…Career vs Passion. After two years, I left the University where I was studying Criminal Justice, to enroll myself in a music school, to study Audio Engineering and Production. It was definitely a tough decision.

How would you describe yourself: a lover, a romantic, a fighter, or what?

I’d probably say I’m all of the above, because I can romantically fight for love.

What do you look out for in your women?

I’ve found what I’ve been looking for, in the woman that I have. The three C’s…Character, Charm, and Charisma.
 

God “… made the rib into a woman, and brought her to the man. “This is it!” Adam exclaimed. “She is part of my own bone and flesh! Her name is ‘woman’ because she was taken out of a man.” – Genesis 2:22-23. Why then don’t you wait for the man to be handed to you as a husband before you start calling him “my man”?

How can something or someone you are studying or getting to know before you own, become yours? This has become the woes of some single ladies. You are dating someone to know them, the probability of them being who you want is only half or 50%.

But the unfortunate thing is as soon they start dating, the ladies especially, assume from day one that he is the one, even before an actual marriage proposal comes up. How can you accept someone who you don’t know.

Going on, they either close their eyes to things they must look out for in a potential or try to change the person. The truth is, even God couldn’t change the devil, how much more can a man.

A person’s actions not their words, will tell you everything you need to know. This is why you study and pay attention to their actions. The one you settle on as your spouse becomes one special person in your life; who is your strength and your weakness too.

Be honest from day one, know what you want; the one you are dating is just a candidate not chosen yet. This will offer you the opportunity to see things clearly, ask questions, pay attention and be sure of your choice.
It also makes it easy to leave when they are not the one, so you don’t end up watering a dead flower.

With this, you have no doubt with your final choice; Later in the marriage, even if given the opportunity to choose someone else, You can still say “I choose you and I will do so over and over again, without a pause.

For those who find it difficult to leave the one you are dating, even though you have a strong feeling the person doesn’t love you; ask yourself this question “Why am I so afraid to lose you when you are not even mine?”.

Bear in mind that as beautiful as you are, men will desire you but just because someone desires you, does not mean they value you. Let this resonate in your mind so you don’t start treating a familiar stranger as your husband when you are yet to know him.

In conclusion, know your value, work on yourself and don’t chase what isn’t yours. You are someone’s definition of “an excellent wife; “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels” Proverbs 31:10 (ESV).

What Happened?

Woodward, 24, swiped at her boyfriend with the blade before stabbing him in the leg. She then threw a laptop, a glass and a jam jar at him during a drink and drug-fueled argument at Christ Church college, Oxford.

The victim, believed to be a PhD student at Cambridge University, had begun dating Woodward earlier in the term after they met on dating app Tinder.

Woodward, who currently resides in Milan, Italy, previously admitted unlawful wounding at an earlier hearing. Judge Ian Pringle said the offense typically results in prison time, but he decided to delay sentencing and assigned her a restraining order to stay drug-free and not to re-offend.

Pringle told the court: “It seems to me that if this was a one-off, a complete one-off, to prevent this extraordinary able young lady from not following her long-held desire to enter the profession she wishes to, would be a sentence which would be too severe.

Woodward’s name appears on articles published in medical journals including the Annals of Thoracic Surgery, Hypertension, and The Journal of Physiology.

A source said that her ambition had been to cure heart disease, and added that she had come top of her year in the pre-clinical tests that all Oxford medical students take at the end of their third year.

“What you did will never, I know, leave you but it was pretty awful, and normally it would attract a custodial sentence, whether it is immediate or suspended.”

Prosecutor Cathy Olliver said that Woodward and her ex met online via a popular dating app and at the time of the attack, which took place on September 30, her behavior had “deteriorated.”

The victim called Woodward’s mother on Skype, which prompted Woodward her punch him in the face before assaulting him with the knife. In defense, James Sturman QC said his client’s dreams of becoming a surgeon were “almost impossible” as her conviction would have to be disclosed.

Struman argued that Woodward had had a “very troubled life,” struggled with drug addiction and even been abused by a former ex.

The man got into a heated altercation with a 41-year-old man on Saturday evening after the latter “forcefully grabbed the man’s girlfriend”, Lieutenant Colonel Pelonomi Makau said on Monday.

“The incident led to a fight in which the suspect was stabbed with a knife on the neck,” Makau said.

The 41-year-old, with the help of a friend, retaliated by hurling stones at the boyfriend, leaving him unconscious.

“The victim and the suspects were both taken to the hospital for medical treatment where the victim was declared dead on arrival.”

The suspects were arrested and would appear in Koster Magistrate’s Court on Tuesday.