parenting couple

A mom named Cheryl Neufville revealed the secret to avoiding marrying and having children with men who won’t split childcare responsibilities.

In a TikTok video, Neufville responded to another content creator who pointed out that there are more and more examples of fathers not being equal contributors in raising a child, and questioned how women can find some ways to avoid ending up in a partnership like that.

She revealed how she could tell that her husband would help with parenting their kids before they even got married.

Neufville explained that when she first met her husband they were just friends and taking things slow. They’d attended an event together and at this outing there was a woman there who was supposed to be teaching a class but was busy with her baby.

“She just had her fifth baby and the baby wasn’t settling. So my husband, just an acquaintance at the time, offered to help her out with her baby,” Neufville recalled. “He took the baby from her, so that way she could teach the class.”

Neufville claimed that her future husband held this baby for around an hour-and-a-half and put the infant to sleep. He stepped outside with the baby so he/she could get some fresh air, and was just rocking the baby until the woman was able to finish teaching her class.

Without being asked, and out of the goodness of his heart, Neuvfille’s husband noticed someone in need, a mother at that, and offered help in the best way that he knew how to.

“At the time, I wasn’t really interested in dating, but I was observing him just from that standpoint and it definitely stood out to me,” Neufville recalled. 

She recalled her husband taking initiative when they had their first baby and she was extremely exhausted.

Once Neufville and her husband were married and had their first baby, she realized that the good qualities she’d initially noticed when they were just friends were traits he’d nurtured and taken into consideration when it came to raising and taking care of his own family.

“I remember it was a pretty stressful time and anyone who’s had a newborn knows how intense it can be and the lack of sleep that you can get,” she said. “I was exclusively breastfeeding. So, I remember one night I slept longer than usual.”

She eventually woke up and noticed that her husband and their baby were gone. Walking around their home, she went into the baby’s room and found her daughter in the crib. Her husband was also in there and had gotten a towel out, laid it on the floor, and was sleeping next to the crib.

Mom Reveals How She Could Tell That Her Husband Would Be a Good Dad Before They Were Even MarriedPhoto: sutlafk / Canva Pro

“You could see that he had slipped his hand through the crib bars. He slipped his hand through there just to be able to hold her hand. She just needed someone next to her and he didn’t wanna wake me,” she continued. “She had already been fed, but he knew that she just needed some comfort.”

Neufville explained that this interaction between her husband and their daughter was something she still thinks about to this day, and it also caused her to reflect on what she saw of her husband before they were even dating.

She noted that her husband didn’t wait before taking charge, especially with that woman at the event and her baby.

“I just knew that he would be the same way towards our children,” she remarked. Neufville acknowledged that there is a possibility that people can switch up once they have to parent their own children, but she maintained that there are certain things that you can look for in a potential partner.

“I feel like if you’re looking for the same things, there are little hints during your dating phase that you can see whether or not someone is going to be helpful or to be able to contribute to your family and especially be present for your children.

Despite Neufville’s dynamic with her husband and the fact that he seems to be both physically and emotionally present with their children, there are mothers out there who bear most of the childcare responsibilities.

In a recent poll by AP and The University of Chicago, 35% of participating mothers said they are doing more than their partner around the house. The number is a stark difference from the 3% of participating fathers who answered the same.

It’s important that in a partnership such as marriage, all responsibilities are split evenly between both individuals, especially if there are children involved.

Neufville’s insistence that no one should settle for someone who does the bare minimum and makes life harder when it comes to raising children proves that an equal partnership is attainable, and is the key to having a balanced family dynamic and environment.