A healthy relationship can bring so much fun and warmth to your life, as long as you’re doing it right. But how do you make sure you’re getting what you want from your relationship? These men set themselves relationship rules to live their lives by.

1.”I have three that have gone a very long way in my relationship. Figure out your partner’s love languages and try to do things that align with them. It’s never me vs her, it’s always us vs the problem. Love is not always easy or straightforward, it’s a conscious choice that you have to make daily. They’re maybe not rules of thumb in the traditional sense, but they’re definitely pieces of advice that have made my relationship and now marriage better.”

2.”Honesty, always. It might suck. It might be painful. But in the long run, a lie only grows deeper and will fuck your relationship up. Don’t fight dirty. It’s fine to get pissed off, but no insults. That shit will poison your relationship. A relationship should enhance your life and make you better. If it’s not, then it’s time to be single.”

3.”Never go out with someone that you’re like, ‘fuck it, they’re fine.’ If you’re not excited about or invested in the relationship, then you’re doing both of you a major disservice. There must be time for just the two of you every week.”

5.”Don’t keep track. No points systems, grudges, things you save so you can throw it in their face later, doing something good so you can get ‘brownie points’ and do something shitty. Just don’t.”

6.”Your most important relationship is with yourself. Your partner should not limit youbut expand your options. Be with someone who wants you but does not need you. You both should have full, fulfilling and healthy separate lives by yourselves and a relationship atop of that…not instead of that.”

7.”Always cuddle and kiss your partner when you see each other after your respective days are done. Respect the other person’s opinion even if you may not agree with it. Constantly remind each other how much you appreciate them, physically too.”

9.”Don’t try to prevent your partner from cheating, especially by keeping tabs on them, restricting them too much, demanding to be in their company all the time. It’s not effective and will push your partner away at best. At worst it might actually make them more likely to cheat.”

10.”Provide leadership for ideas for adventure and excitement, and later provide a partnership in the execution of those ideas. Don’t be boring. Don’t be a bad team player.”