1. Know that misunderstandings are normal when two adults relate.
2. Calm down first before you say something you will both regret.
3. Come around and talk as soon as you can. Keep the chain of communication open.
4. Don’t be afraid to have difficult conversations. Talk, even if it will be unpleasant.
5. Listen to each other. Both the offender and the offended should feel heard.
6. Avoid bringing others into the fight. If you will seek counsel about the issue, go to a friend you trust or a Pastor or Counsellor.
7. Address the root causes that are leading to the fight, not just the fight.
8. Be careful not to make irrational decisions as your emotions boil. Calm down first before concluding. Let the dust settle.
9. Both of you be humble, put your ego aside.
10. Speak about all that makes you angry and upset. Don’t bury things under the carpet. Pretense solves nothing.
11. Remember why you got married in the first place. Has one of you or both of you veered off the vision and are you willing to bounce back to the vision?
12. Apologize. Be sensitive to the wrong you have done.
13. Pray together. Prayer will bring peace and clarity.
14. Listen to God. Sometimes God will try to tell you something through the fight but you two fail to listen because you are busy arguing.
15. Give each other peace. Both men and women gravitate to where there is peace.
16. Invite each other back with love. Be attractive in conversations.
17. Learn the lessons the fight taught about you and your spouse.
18. Share those vital lessons with your children and those in marriage without necessarily sharing your personal story if you don’t wish to. Wisdom ought to be shared.
19. Know that healing takes time. The key thing is to start the process.
20. Treat each other better after the fight. Let there be real change, especially from the offender.
21. Know that most marriages grow stronger after a storm. Yours will flourish too, if you both are willing to nurture the vision.
